G's 7th Birthday!

My eldest turned 7 yesterday. Had a pretty low-key party where she got a new sweatshirt and a new bike! Didn't get a picture of the bike, but she sure liked the butterfly cake her mom made for her.


And a couple pictures of the other two...for good measure.

Sunday morning randomness

- Snow. We got over a foot on Friday night and a little more last night. I enjoy sliding around while driving in the snow far too much. I don't like front wheel drive.

- I use my deep fryer too much too. Ever heard of deep fried bacon? I'm tellin' ya, it works pretty good. Crispy, not burnt, and in about a quarter of the time that microwave cooked bacon takes. And I'm sticking with my uneducated theory that it's healthier because it replaces the bacon fat with canola oil...yeah, that's right...it's healthier.

- One of my biggest gripes with restaurants is the portions that are too large. I know it's highly unlikely that they'll have portions that are just right, but c'mon, I'd rather not pay for an entire extra 'doggy bag' meal that I probably won't eat.

- With that said...why do I make too much food when I cook for myself?

- My oldest, KG, got 100% on her first spelling test. She is awesome.

- I haven't even been called once by the school office about AL (my middle one, new to kindergarten.) Whereas I've been called at least twice about KG. Not that she's done anything wrong, but had bloody noses or wasn't feeling good.

- If any of my kids have a head for math, they didn't get it from me.

- Would I rather not clean today...or would I rather not hear about it later? ...decisions, decisions.

- AL tells me that some neighborhood boy pulled KG's pants down. Time to start that gun collection.

- No, not to shoot them. Just threaten. Indirectly. "Come on in boy! Come check out my hunting room and shrunken head collection."

- KG has a great way of expressing her feelings that I hope my other 2 pick up on. She'll draw them. She was mad at me this morning for watching the news and not switching to cartoons right when she asked me. She drew a broken heart with her in one side and me on the other. When I eventually switched channels (which I told her I would do when the news was over), she drew a happy rainbow heart for me.

- Nothing's changed between my wife and I. I've stopped trying to 'get over' my idea that a lot of what she says is a lie. I know now some of it is a blatant attempt at hiding things, but I also think part of it is a habit she's formed abut telling the other person what she thinks they want to hear, no matter if she believes it or not.

- The debt management program we joined last year is a good deal. It's called Family Credit Management. For what I'm paying out, it costs around $30 a month and they negotiated one of my credit card interest rates down from 19% to 7%. We've been in it long enough that we're finally seeing some rapid decline in balance amounts.

Thanksgiving comes first!

(Due to Ananda Girl's prompting...)

Thanksgiving comes first! If only because of the food.

I'm a pessimist...and it probably shows...but I see Christmas ads before Thanksgiving as a mark of the degradation of our society. Specifically as concerned with greed. Corporate greed.

Ok, that's all done... Thanksgiving food is awesome! Why would anyone in their right mind want gloss over it or dilute it with thoughts of Christmas? If we took the presents out of Christmas, yet left the massive potluck style dinners of wonderful food, I would be perfectly content.

On the other hand, Christmas isn't quite Christmas anymore. Maybe that has something to do with my preference for Thanksgiving. I haven't been as successful as I would like in teaching my kids what Christmas is really about. I'm not going to go into the reasons why, but suffice it to say that it's difficult. All the commercialization and other influences seem to overpower any attempt I make at moving their focus.

Now that I think about it, I think it is easier at Thanksgiving to work with my kids and show them what thanksgiving really is. Christmas celebrates the birth of our Savior, but Thanksgiving gives us a prime opportunity to live like He wants us to.

But I sure like Christmas decorations. Now...if we did the same for Thanksgiving...would it be the perfect holiday?

Opportunity knocks....sometimes not very loudly

I wonder. It seems people and situations have been coming into my life lately that have a hint of professional and social networking to them. I haven't really been looking either.

The first was an invite to 'Wing Wednesdays' from a customer of ours, Tim. He's also the bro-in-law of my boss, but my boss doesn't go to the lunch. Tim is kind of the ring leader, but even if he's not there, at least 2 or 3 other guys show up. They all have something to do with construction, but there's an engineer/designer, a concrete contractor, an electrician, a HVAC guy, a lumber yard guy, Tim (the builder), and me (the truss guy.)

So we hang out, shoot the breeze, eat $0.50 wings and that's about it. One guy pays and it rotates. I like it. It's nice to look forward to and it seems like they still want me to come after attending for a couple months now.

Then there's the odd golf tournament that we (the company) sponsor. Being a building supplier, we're close to the start of the process, so we usually do the sponsoring and not get the invites as customers, but that's ok. It's good to meet new people, get to know your fellow industry people and have a good time. Free drink tickets aren't too bad either.

Our local salesman invited me to a tournament on Tuesday. It was cold. The weather report said 60 degrees, but it sure was a cold 60. Cloudy and rainy. And I played horribly. Couldn't hit a drive to save my life. The last few holes weren't too bad, but sheesh it was frustrating. Anyway...

I also started attending a new study at our church. It's not really a Bible study; we're studying ancient and not-so-ancient biblical philosophers. We're starting with Saint Augustine, Martin Luther, and John Calvin. I've never really done anything like this and I just hope I'm up to the task.

But it's certainly another opportunity. There are a lot of smart guys in there and not all part of the same industry. Rather than professional networking, it's social. I haven't done too much of that lately. And I'm also hopeful that I can find a mentor there. I've been thinking quite a lot (and not praying enough) about finding a mentor. Our pastor did a series of sermons on the books of Kings and one of the things that jumped out at me is that the most successful kings had godly mentors to help them. When they ignored those mentors, they got hit pretty hard. Not that I aspire to be a king, but I desire very much to become a better father.

I'm not really looking for opportunities like this, but I'm glad they come. I just hope I'm aware enough to take advantage of them.

But through it all I wonder at our God. I wonder at the way He works. It just confirms to me that there is a heavenly Creator. One that loves us as a father would love his children. One that guides, teaches, and prods as necessary.

What to do...what to do...

My littlest turned 3 yesterday. She'll always be petite. Still wears some 18-24 month sized clothes. When they talk about percentiles, she doesn't even register on the scale.

But she is so sweet. A hug from her will cure the crappiest day. Almost is as sweet is how, when I lay down with her to get her to sleep sometimes, she'll reach out to hold my hand. It's enough to break my heart.

And it's beyond enough to make me feel like crap when I'm trying to decide what to do with my marriage. I don't know that God is still asking me to stick it out. We tried talking again the other night and it was the same old stuff. Some times it seems like she doesn't really want to save the marriage and is purposefully saying things to push me away. Other times I think that she trying to say something that is meaningful and along the lines of reconciliation, but the actual words she uses aren't that. And that's all besides the fact that she's still contacting at least one of the guys she slept with....*sigh*

I'm pretty much decided to separate from her. Besides the money issue, I don't know what to do about my girls. The only reason I wouldn't fight for sole custody is because of the crap that they would go through. I know of at least one case in my family that the dad rightly fought for custody, but basically because he was the only one with a full time job, and had a higher income potential, did he not get it. He has a lot of kids too. The judge thought it unreasonable for him to take care of 6 kids and have a full time job. Which makes sense, but sucks for the kids too as some of them don't really like their mom. My situation isn't that bad. My girls love their mom too, but at this point I doubt whether or not she can show them what a Godly marriage can be. I still believe that we could have that together, if we both seek Him, but I don't think she is.

I'm not really even considering legal divorce, just a separation. It's hard not to think what about what it might progress to though.

And I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose my job.

Fun times.

At least the weather is absolutely gorgeous. I took the rare opportunity to go golfing today with a co-worker and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Played a new course and didn't do too bad. Not as well as I would have liked, but you can't ask too much when you're making blind shots. I figured out what I've been doing wrong on my drives and actually corrected it. And I was able to give my co-worker a tip that helped his putting. Good stuff.

What Season is Your Soul Connected To?

Your Soul Is Connected to the Spring

You are an optimistic, eternally hopeful person. No matter how dark things get, you always see the light. You are open-minded and always up for a fresh outlook on life. You don't cling to ideas or beliefs. You are sweet hearted and have good intentions. Even though you've seen a lot in life, you remain innocent. People see you as playful and even a bit airy. You feel free to be yourself, and that's a beautiful thing. What Season is Your Soul Connected To? Ummm...not way off, but not very close either.

Taking advantage of crisis

Crisis. Quite the powerful motivator.

Having been part of the new construction industry for even such a short time, about 7 years now, I've seen the highest high and the not-quite lowest low. I went from making some good money as a beginner designer to watching my own homes perceived value drop by half in less than 8 months, along with my income.

But even that doesn't quite compare to now. I've adjusted my standard of living to meet my income. I don't have that house anymore, and even though it hurt to get out of it, at least we're out.

But now. Now it's come down to my employment. Not only my employment, but that of the 30 other employees who are a part of our division. As a company, we're not doing well financially. And it's finally come down to it. Break even...or else.

We're a division of a slightly bigger company. We're the 2nd location of a family owned structural component manufacturer. The original company has been around for 30-40 years, under current ownership. Our division has been open for 10 years now. The entire company operates as a single entity. At least in the eyes of the bank. Our line of credit came up for review on July 1st of this year. And we've been losing money for too long now.

60 days. That's our deadline. 60 days to dig ourselves out of a $200,000 hole. We got a 120 day extension on the review, but the owners are talking about making those same decisions that would come with a bankruptcy about 60 days before the review.

Time's up. We have a week left. 1 week. I don't think we've succeeded. We haven't got the #'s for July back yet, but by me preliminary evaluation, at best we've just broken even for that month. I don't think we made enough money to put a dent in the loss that already existed.

But what a time. What a time of learning for me. I'm new to the management game. New to having so much responsibility. New to the decision making process that involves the livelihood of so many people. I enjoy it. I enjoy the learning. I can't say I especially enjoy making mistakes, but learning from those and making the right decision the next time makes it all the more sweet.

What I'm trying to learn and really keeping my eyes out for are the opportunities to capitalize on the opportunities that this crises presents. One specific area of opportunity revolves around people and how they react to crises and stress. I tell you what, a crisis likes this really accentuates the fundamental qualities of people. Some people can handle it. Some can't. Some people excel under stress. Some people fail miserably.

I can honestly say that I work with a bunch of great people. People who excel under stress. People who can step up to the plate and get it done. Of course, there are a couple guys that I have to be careful with. I've recognized a few that do better if they're protected from some of that stress. Just show them what needs to be done, give them the tools to do it, and watch it get done. Don't breathe down their necks or they'll crash.

I've also learned that people really respond to praise. Looking for and recognizing opportunities to praise them for the good work they do has been paramount to getting the most from my guys. I certainly can't say I'm great at it. I need to do a lot better at making that praise public.

I've also learned to watch the numbers. What my guys do involves a regular change of pace throughout the day. Some parts of their job requires patience and carefulness. Other parts allow them to fly through their work. I've had to check my stress level when I walk out into the shop and not much is happening. It seems like everyone is just moving too slow. But inevitably, the production #'s come back and they're doing great. And I know they're doing great. They're all experienced enough to be careful during the planning part and fly through the rest of it.

So at the end of it all, I've learned a lot. Even if we close (which I don't know is going happen), I'll walk away from a valuable experience. An experience that has prepared me to be even that more successful in my next venture...even when I hope it doesn't come too soon.