Well, I haven’t been browsing the blog world much lately. A lot occupying my mind & time.
- Work has picked up quite a bit. Praise the Lord! In fact, it’s almost doubled in the last couple of weeks. I hired 3 guys back and considering hiring 3 or 4 more. I really really hope this is going to last. I’m sick of this crappy building market.
- Told my wife I’m going to divorce her and that I’m done trying to reconcile. If nothing else, it’s been an interesting psychological journey. I’ve learned a lot about how differently we react to, or just view, similar (or identical) situations. But that doesn’t get me past the fact that she’s kind of overwhelmingly needy. Overwhelming to me but not overwhelming to God. In a large sense, I hope a separation will force her to stop looking for a person to fill certain needs that no one on this earth can.
- The girlies are doing ok. It’s obvious there is some stress between their mom and I. I’m certainly not so diluted that I think we’ve entirely protected them, but G and A are doing great at school and after a spell of too many ‘yellow’ days earlier this year (green is good, yellow not so good, red is bad), they’ve been doing a lot better.
- G’s turning out to be a wonderful student. 100+% on most of her quizzes. If I could just get her to slow down when she writes. She’s starting out like I ended…which is not good. My penmanship is horrible.
- A’s still in kindergarten and while they don’t really test her ability to regurgitate information yet, her drawing abilities are progressing on track and she’s obeying the teacher better.
- About that ‘psychological journey’, I’ve been wondering a bit about people’s tendency towards exaggeration. Even between my girls there are differences in how, when, and to what extent they exaggerate. My wife has been saying extreme things for a long time now, about how I treat her and what she feels about things. I won’t really go into specifics, but it’s very interesting, especially when I don’t really care anymore that those particular statements are directed at me, personally. I’ve started explaining to her that those extreme statements are absolutely destroying our conversations. I hope someday she can see it.
- Haven’t seen a lawyer yet. I’m sure that’ll be interesting. Not fun, but interesting. I’m really curious to hear what the likelyhood is that I could get full custody of the girls. I’m sure it wouldn’t be cheap because she’ll probably fight it, but if there’s at least a 50% chance, I’ll go for it.
- Holy crap this sucks.
- I had lunch with my friend the other day. Who’s also my pastor. Didn’t get quite the ass-chewing that I expected, but he said what I expected. Good for him. Not so good for me as I’m pretty much choosing to ignore it by divorcing her.
- But there are some good things going on and this post is getting too long. Have a great day!
Well, I just recently got a divorce myself. I certainly understand the stress involved and how once you have reached your end, a change comes over you. It is very alien in a way isn't it?
ReplyDeleteYour girls will be fine. You all will be, including your wife. But don't expect her to get that her exaggerations generated more anxiety than attention. Not for a while anyway.
I see this as a healthy step... difficult, but healthy. Good luck!
Your confidence in what you are doing will end up being a great help to your girls...and I agree that parting is better for everyone than constant tension and fighting.
ReplyDeleteNow, this is completely none of my business, but I can't help but be curious. Do you really need to have full custody? Is shared physical custody out of the question? It is the most encouraged option, unless one parent is truly unstable.
I'm going to do what I do best when it comes to issues of marriage and divorce...shut up. I've never been married, I have no authority to say anything on the topic. Thank me later.
ReplyDeleteI also have no advice when it comes to the girls. I hope they're okay through all of this.
I guess all I can really do is wish you the best of luck.
Hey, you tried your best. And beyond. Even God can't ask more of that from you. Shoot, or can he/she?
ReplyDelete