Dale Carnegie, 1st assignment, and it's a duzy.

As disjointed as the previous post was, I thought I better replace it quickly.

I went to my Dale Carnegie class on Monday night. It was ok. Kinda the same thing as other development classes but promises some good practical skill development to come. They did an excersize to help us learn and remember names. Haven't had much of a chance to practice but I think it will help.

One of our first assignments, due next Monday, is to develop and give a 2 minute talk about a defining moment in our lives. At first, the only one I could think of was when I found out my wife was cheating on me. That particular moment kind of eclipses all other potential moments. It's a very personal topic though. Very personal. So I'm still debating about whether or not to go with that one.

There are a couple of other moments that have since come to mind. I'll give a quick synopsis of each and maybe you guys can help me? There not anywhere near as defining as the one mentioned above, but maybe I can still fill 2 minutes.

Back in 2004, we were living in our first home as a family. It was a very small house, right on a busy street, and it had a pool in the back yard. Our oldest, G, was 2 years old and I think our next was on her way. The backyard was all concrete and pool and a section of the patio was separated from the pool by a short wooden fence. The fence was very dilapidated and needed replacing. I took a Saturday and got most of the fence replaced, but didn't get entirely finished. That Saturday night, some friend of ours stopped by to check it out. We walked out of the house through the sliding door and for some reason, all of us came back in through the garage. Well, my friends left and I was home with G. Her mom was away somewhere doing something. So after we said goodby to our friends, I set G up with the movie she wanted to watch and went to check my email in the back room. I sat there for maybe 10-15 minutes and noticed how quiet it had gotten. I got up, walked into the living room and didn't see G. I very quickly put 2 & 2 together, ran through the still open sliding door and found G laying face up in the pool, face out of the water, with her diaper quickly becoming saturated and starting to pull her down. I pulled her out and just held her for a little bit, took her inside, cleaned her up and got her ready for bed. She was absolutely exhausted. (Weird thing was that my office window was open, directly facing the pool, and I never heard her go into the pool. I think she walked in and started trying to swim.)

The thing about this one is that I can't really say it defined me in any specific way. Of course I finished fixing that fence at about 1 am that night, and could harldy hold a nail straight, but we had always been very careful with the kids around the pool.

The only other moment that I can think of was during an English composition class in college. We had written papers that were to be peer reviewed. We were sitting in small groups, having read the other papers, and the girl that was critiquing mine said, "You write like you think. You need to write more like you read." I had never thought of it that way. My thinking is terribly disorganized. I reread my paper, with her comment echoing in my mind, and it made perfect sense. The topic didn't flow at all, it jumped around, just like my thoughts do.

I know it's a very simple event, but in a way, it did more to define me than that crisis with G. I've always remembered it and try to apply what I learned from it every time I write.

Of course there are some others you might think of. My wedding. The days my daughters came into the world. Graduations. But I can't honestly say that any of those events changed me in any profound way. (I was pretty dull back then, still am, but hopefully not as much.) I'm sure they did to some extent, but comparing them to that first event mentioned, they pale in comparison.

So what do you guys think? I actually think I'm ok with sharing that first event with total strangers. (Maybe that'll change once I get up there...) I'm pretty much guaranteed to fill the 2 minutes and maybe, just maybe, it would encourage someone to examine their own marriage. But would it be too uncomfortable a topic? I wouldn't want someone to just stop listening because of that.

Bound to Happen

Well, apparently writing my wish not to didn't prevent it...had to lay off 4 guys yesterday.

I've been in a management position for a little more than 3 years now. One year at my previous employer and two here. Back in CA I was promoted just as the housing market crashed. Before I 'took office', they had just gone through at least 2 rounds of layoff, cutting their production force down from about 150 to 75 or so. During the year I was production manager, we went through 2 more rounds. When I left, there were around 30 production employees. So within 1.5 years, they dropped from 150 to 30 production employees. An 80% decrease.

When I started at my current job, I had 24 direct production employees, 1 yardman, 4 delivery drivers, a production foreman, and a delivery foreman. Right now, I have 10 direct, 4 drivers/yardmen, a production foreman and no delivery foreman. A 50% decrease.

I have no major aspirations for running a huge production facility. If I can't do a good job with the 15 guys I have now, how in the world would I do a good job with a lot more? Of course, I think it would be a lot easier to do a good job if we had enough work to go around....but apparently that's not going to happen right now.

Here's an old shot of the plant. All those boxes in the foreground aren't there anymore.

Too-Friendly Furry

So I had a little visitor to my office this morning. (Not this exact one, the real one was too quick for my camera..)

I wondered if this was the same one that severely violated my personal space last year.

I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business mind you, and I felt a tickle on my left thigh. It was slightly more tickly than the usually 'tied-hairs' tickle or 'loose thread' tickle. Rubbed it a little and promptly forgot about it.

I sat there for at least 10 minutes. Nothing weird happening.

Tickle Tickle.

What was that?! I stood up and something shot out my right pants leg so quickly I barely saw it. Couldn't even tell what it was.

I was actually thinking, "Boy, I hope that was a mouse." We'd been seeing a lot of salamanders at the time and actually decided that I'd rather have a mouse in my pants than a salamander. I finally decided that salamanders just weren't that quick.

Not that I prefer either, but hey...if I had to choose.

So before you get started, I'm going to preempt some comments:

"Did you at least send it flowers?"

"So, she's been the only one to get in your pants lately, huh?"

"Later that day the mouse was talking to his friends, "You wouldn't believe what I saw today! Weirdest looking mouse you could imagine!"

Amazing Race Runners

Who would you run the Amazing Race with?

I would probably pick my dad. While he's not overly traveled, he is more than me. He's at least been to Mexico and Switzerland, while I've been to Ensanada...which barely counts as Mexico. Neither of us are very athletic either, but between the both of us, I think we could take care of whatever we need to get done. We'd both be pretty good at fighting through the pain.

While we don't really have first hand experience at it, I think we would get along well under stress like that. Or well enough anyway. I don't think either of us would try to dominate unless the other just didn't have a clue. That's probably the biggest reason I wouldn't pick a lot of other people.

So who would you run the Amazing Race with?

Friday 5 - Personal Adds

1. What’s your favorite “just add water!” food? - Coffee.
   
2. What’s your favorite thing to add vinegar to? - Any Asian food I might be cooking. Which is long overdue... But I don't care for vinegar salad dressings or anything like that.
   
3. What’s something weird you’ve added to normal food? - I can't really think of anything. I've always kind of considered myself a food 'purest'. Not that I eat very 'pure' food (far from it), but I tend to eat it the way it's served. I read somewhere that in some cultures, it's considered highly offensive to add anything to a dish before you at least try it. I've been trying for years to break my kids of the habit of adding ketchup or ranch to everything. It ain't happenin.
   
4. What’s your favorite thing to add whipped cream to? - Ice cream or punkin' pie.
   
5. What’s something you refuse to add anything to, even though most people add something?- Can't really think of anything here either. I even add a bit of sugar to my coffee to take the acid edge off. I tend to take my ice cream by itself, but that's mostly because I keep forgetting to buy chocolate syrup. And I really like pepper, so at some point it usually ends up on whatever savory dish I happen to be eating.

Friday 5

Boring Thursday's Randomness

- I think we should start taking the security words some comments require and start making definitions for them. So what should "bloreb" mean?

- I'm envious of some people's fantastic ability to write. Most recently, it's L. 'Ailina Laranang.

- I was reading through Dale Carnegie's "Golden Book" and he lists only one thing as the "Perfect Way to Conquer Worry." Prayer.

- What!?! Someone just turned in a new order?!! Yippee! So what if it's going to take all of 4 hours to finish.

- Holy moly it's slow at work...

- I've signed up for the Dale Carnegie: Effective Communications and Human Relations course. 3.5 hours every Monday evening for 12 weeks and the classroom is an hour and a half away....reminds me of college...stupid commutes.

- Raw almonds aren't nearly as good as I remember them to be. I think they may have been roasted last time.

- I like Arizona Iced Tea. And it's 23 ounces are cheaper than Pepsi's 16 ounces.

- I really hope I will not have to lay anyone off this spring. That extended homebuyer tax credit better help!!

Misses - Friday 5

1. What’s something you frequently misplace?:

Whatever book I happen to be reading at the time. Although I'm fairly certain I'm responsible for only about half of the supposed 'misplacements'. I mean, why would I put it in the pantry...?

2. For whom are you often mistaken?:

Someone who cares.... Just kidding, but I can't recall ever being mistaken for someone else.

3. When were you last misinformed about something important?:

Dangit. The first thing that popped into my head would have been a real bummer to y'all. (I never say y'all in real life...) And since I don't really want to go there...I'll leave this one alone. Can't recall anything else at the moment.

4. Where in your home do you have a seemingly random collection of miscellanea?:

I myself am fairly organized and like things in their place...eventually. But since I'm not the only one living in my house, apparently any flat surface will do.

5. Upon meeting someone for the first time, what qualities in the other person are likely to cause you to misjudge him or her?:

Whether or not they're quiet. For the most part, I think talkative people don't hide much but when I meet someone who doesn't say much right away, sometimes I'm surprised at what they have to say when they get around to it.

Thanks to Tara for getting this going!

Trimming the blog fat

Some of you may have noticed the little reference off to the right about my other blog. (Probably gone now...) It was intended to be specifically focused on my spiritual life, so as not to lose some of you that may not be interested in that. The thing is...everything I'm discovering has already been written about. Many times. And written much better than I would ever be able to.

So this might be a kind of failure, but so what? I'm probably just discovering that God doesn't really need another author or preacher. Imagine that.

I am kind of curious about my 'calling' though. I believe followers of Christ are asked to do things for Him. Specific things. Right now my calling probably has everything to do with my wife and our poor marriage situation. Even if the calling is just to 'hang in there.' If I look to myself or my wife in this situation, I really can't see any hope. Yes, even to myself. As a human, having been hurt so personally for so long, I can't muster up any love. I can't even fake affection. But I think God is telling me to hang in there and be open for Him to work through me towards her. He is my hope and that's all I need. It's all I have.

And God is working through me. I still try to do things. I've been asking her how she is, even though I fully expect some crappy response back. I offer to do things for her fully expecting her to refuse or argue about it. I've learned that I just can't expect anything else.

Except for one instance....and this'll blow your mind. I gave her some cash for her to get a prescription filled. It was for pain medicine to take while she passes the last 2 of her 3 kidney stones. She bought soda and snacks with it. I fully expected her to get her pain medicine. And I told her so.

It absolutely blew me away.

So these things keep happening. And escalating. It continues to be a test of my patience. I can honestly say I didn't get angry, but that incredulity popped it's ugly head up and I got pretty sarcastic.

Just venting... please ignore.

Anyhoo. So long other blog. (Don't worry, it only had one post in it...)

Taking stock for 2010

It's the beginning of a new year, so let's take stock...

- All 3 girls are fairly healthy. A couple have a cough right now but no major health issues. Add that to the 'good' side of the scale.

- I'm healthy too. My metabolism sure isn't as robust as it used to be, but hey, I'm 30, not 20 anymore. One more for good.

- I have a good job. A job I enjoy. We're not terribly busy, but things are looking up. Another for 'good'.

- I live in Wyoming. Not necessarily 'good', but it's pretty 'gud'.

- After putting gas in my wife's behemoth, I have all of $12 in the bank until Monday. It's only up from here! Good.

- Probably the best good thing of all; God continues to work on me. He's blessed me immensely in handling situations that would have made me pretty angry before. Anymore I'm usually incredulous and at the best of times, just perplexed. Good. (but could be better)

- I've met a few very godly and uplifting men that I know God is using to break me down and remake me. I certainly wouldn't be the man I am today without their help. Good.

- I still struggle with things. Personal things I won't share here, but the frequency at which those things show up is greatly reduced. Another blessing from God. Good.

- The marriage is still crummy. She continues to do unhealthy things to get my attention, according to her. (I think we're not in gradeschool anymore...?) But she did quit her job and should be able to go to church with us now. Mostly bad, but maybe I'll just leave the bad parts off the table...

- I began the year in prayer. (It was a very short prayer as I'm surprised I even stayed up that late.) Good.

So what's the score?

I spent last night by myself. Even though my girls and wife were downstairs. My wife came up to me earlier in the night and asked if I was happy with our lack of affection. If there is such a thing as 'super incredulous', I was it. I didn't get angry but it blew me away that she expected me to be affectionate with her. It really has nothing to do with whether or not I'm happy with our current situation, I'm not, but what does she expect when she admittedly pushes my buttons? So my response was a blast of perplexity. If you don't know what that sounds like, it's pretty much a "HA!".

So needless to say, my thoughts about that particular encounter are kind of overwhelming right now. I see all the great and good things that God has blessed me with and thank Him for them. I also see the trial that God has given me in regards to my marriage. Without that trial, I'm sure I wouldn't have grown as I have this year.

So what's the score?

It's all good.