As disjointed as the previous post was, I thought I better replace it quickly.
I went to my Dale Carnegie class on Monday night. It was ok. Kinda the same thing as other development classes but promises some good practical skill development to come. They did an excersize to help us learn and remember names. Haven't had much of a chance to practice but I think it will help.
One of our first assignments, due next Monday, is to develop and give a 2 minute talk about a defining moment in our lives. At first, the only one I could think of was when I found out my wife was cheating on me. That particular moment kind of eclipses all other potential moments. It's a very personal topic though. Very personal. So I'm still debating about whether or not to go with that one.
There are a couple of other moments that have since come to mind. I'll give a quick synopsis of each and maybe you guys can help me? There not anywhere near as defining as the one mentioned above, but maybe I can still fill 2 minutes.
Back in 2004, we were living in our first home as a family. It was a very small house, right on a busy street, and it had a pool in the back yard. Our oldest, G, was 2 years old and I think our next was on her way. The backyard was all concrete and pool and a section of the patio was separated from the pool by a short wooden fence. The fence was very dilapidated and needed replacing. I took a Saturday and got most of the fence replaced, but didn't get entirely finished. That Saturday night, some friend of ours stopped by to check it out. We walked out of the house through the sliding door and for some reason, all of us came back in through the garage. Well, my friends left and I was home with G. Her mom was away somewhere doing something. So after we said goodby to our friends, I set G up with the movie she wanted to watch and went to check my email in the back room. I sat there for maybe 10-15 minutes and noticed how quiet it had gotten. I got up, walked into the living room and didn't see G. I very quickly put 2 & 2 together, ran through the still open sliding door and found G laying face up in the pool, face out of the water, with her diaper quickly becoming saturated and starting to pull her down. I pulled her out and just held her for a little bit, took her inside, cleaned her up and got her ready for bed. She was absolutely exhausted. (Weird thing was that my office window was open, directly facing the pool, and I never heard her go into the pool. I think she walked in and started trying to swim.)
The thing about this one is that I can't really say it defined me in any specific way. Of course I finished fixing that fence at about 1 am that night, and could harldy hold a nail straight, but we had always been very careful with the kids around the pool.
The only other moment that I can think of was during an English composition class in college. We had written papers that were to be peer reviewed. We were sitting in small groups, having read the other papers, and the girl that was critiquing mine said, "You write like you think. You need to write more like you read." I had never thought of it that way. My thinking is terribly disorganized. I reread my paper, with her comment echoing in my mind, and it made perfect sense. The topic didn't flow at all, it jumped around, just like my thoughts do.
I know it's a very simple event, but in a way, it did more to define me than that crisis with G. I've always remembered it and try to apply what I learned from it every time I write.
Of course there are some others you might think of. My wedding. The days my daughters came into the world. Graduations. But I can't honestly say that any of those events changed me in any profound way. (I was pretty dull back then, still am, but hopefully not as much.) I'm sure they did to some extent, but comparing them to that first event mentioned, they pale in comparison.
So what do you guys think? I actually think I'm ok with sharing that first event with total strangers. (Maybe that'll change once I get up there...) I'm pretty much guaranteed to fill the 2 minutes and maybe, just maybe, it would encourage someone to examine their own marriage. But would it be too uncomfortable a topic? I wouldn't want someone to just stop listening because of that.
If you're comfortable about using it, then go with the original story. I don't think it would be too easy to talk about it, myself. Besides that, think about it, seriously. Sometimes, the smallest and most insignificant moments can have the greatest impact.
ReplyDeleteI think any one of these ideas could potentially work well. But it also sounds like the first thing that came into your mind, and the one you hold as truly significant, is the one that may be hardest to share. I think, however, discussing something like that would set the bar high for others to be as honest as they need to be to make a point.
ReplyDeleteIdea #1 would definitely be engaging, no doubt about that. But it might only be effective if you can present it from an relatively objective perspective, leaving out any bitterness or strong emotional sentiment. If you're far enough away from the experience to present it in a way that will allow the anecdote to make your point instead of distract from it, then I say go for it.
ReplyDeleteIdea #2...riveting. I was engrossed by the end of the first sentence. Perhaps it didn't define you, but surely you learned something from it beyond "precaution." Something along the lines of, "I realized, it CAN happen to me." Further, you could tie in Idea #1 with this same theme. We trust our security, but when something happens that strips us of every sense of confidence in our lives as we know it, how do we go on? How do we recover? How did YOU recover, Ken?
Just throwing ideas out there. Hope you hammer this thing out over the weekend!
I think you can decide, but I actually like the second better, because it changed everything about writing. #1 happens to a lot of people, unfortunately not always with a happy ending.
ReplyDeleteHi there.. Been a long time since I last stopped in..
ReplyDeleteit's a very personal thing to happen to someone and if you are comfortable with sharing this part of your life then go for it!