Randomonday

- So I went out to dinner after getting back from the parents house last night. Sat at the Olive Garden's bar and had a really good Steak Gorgonzola pasta. I was sitting a few seats away from a couple having dinner. They were sitting at 90 degrees to me, it was quiet, and I could hear almost everything they said. It was obviously a first date. The curious thing was that I learned some of the more basic info for only one of them. The guy. I eaves-dropped quite a bit of their conversation and not once did he ask anything about her. Nothing. I know how many marriages the guy has had, how many kids, their ages & boy/girl spread, what he does for a living, the unconventional way he got the nice clothes he was wearing, how he's wrecked the last 2 trucks he's owned, and what he thinks about her ass. The one and only thing I learned about her was that she's been married twice. That's it. And she volunteered that info! He didn't ask. How sad is that. I really hope he didn't get any...



- Christmas day was good. Got to spend it with my parents and my girlies...and my stbx. The day was very nice. We played a lot of Wii bowling (my 6 yr old threw a 214!) and some card games. The evening was interesting though. We all understood that I was going to stay overnight and the stbx was going home, as she had stayed overnight Christmas Eve. Well, when the time came for her to leave, she suddenly 'got sick' and started acting like a little kid. She may have been sick, but it was probably from the wine she'd had over the previous few hours. She wasn't drunk so I didn't have any problem kicking her out. It was a scene. We ended up having a 'discussion' on the front porch in the 30 degree weather, with her trying to resolve our marital issues. *sigh* I finally went inside and left her standing there. She sat in her car for a solid hour before she finally left. But other than that, Christmas was nice.


- Oh, and we also had a plumbing issue right before everyone started getting ready for bed. We figured it out and fixed it, saving a Christmas visit from the plumber.



- I think I just overheard a coworker say "Alrighty then" to a customer over the phone. And it wasn't intended to be funny.


- I got a nice big fryer pan with a cover from my parents (which is what I asked for.) They also gave me a loveseat that they didn't have room for in their new place. Score! It crowds my tiny place a little, but I really missed having a couch. Now I have places to seat more than 2 people!

- Oh, and check this out... during out little discussion, the stbx said (talking about her infidelity. Yeah, even that came up. Sheesh.), that "Yes, I made a mistake, but it's different for a woman."

Ummm..wha? Like as in it doesn't mean you cheated on me? or that it shouldn't have hurt me? or that it was ok because you are a woman?

She spent all day doing something good towards repairing the damage and threw it all out the window with that one statement.

- Her birthday's coming up. Should I get her a stack of psychiatrist business cards?

(Better?) Letters from the Editor

Dear host dude on the radio,

How do you think your guest feels when you start his introduction with, "Bear with us folks while we get through this next guest. Then we'll get back to the phones." Sheesh. Make him feel important why don't you?

Sarcastically,
Dudenotlisteningtoyourshowanymore



Dear Key of Awesome,

Your guys' stuff is awesome. Obviously. Your parody of Katy Perrys' Firework is hilarious and I love the Eminem stuff. I wish I had your kind of imagination.

Shine on,
Roflcoptering


Dear scanner,

You suck.

Mess with you later,
Frustratedscanneruserwhogaveupafteronlygettingtenpagesfinished-andwhoisnowgoingtoleaveitforthenextassistanthehires.


Dear pile of dirty dishes,

*sigh* I'm seriously considering asking the landlady if I can install a dishwasher. The problem is that it'll have to stick out of the wall, which would make plumbing it easy, but would make my place less aerodynamic and kill my fuel mileage. I think I'm going to switch you all to plastic or acrylic and let my kids take care of you. It'll be fun! Like a waterpark for utensils. Just don't let the Blackhole ride take your top off.

Ciao,
Lazybumwhohateswashingdishesbyhand



Dear coworkers who walk through my office after I fart,

Sorry.

Should I put up some sort of warning? What if I put my calculator upside down? Or a big red ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK sign? Or....OR....maybe you should stop using my office as a hallway!!

If you see me eating chili cheese fries for lunch, and comment on how good it smells, you might want to reconsider a later visit. Even if you come over and don't smell it yet, if I get up and wander over to the coffee maker, you might want to tag along.

For you own good,
Holdonlemmeopenawindow.




Dear Readers,

Hopefully these were at least a little better than the last two stinkers of LftE posts.

Get it. Stinkers.

Anyway... I think the first one set the bar higher than I could regularly deliver on, but hopefully I can pull better ones out in the future.

Sincerely,
Me

It's a pretty funny parody: Key of Awesome #27

RandoMonday

- So my assistant is finally gone and here I am scrambling just to remember all the things that need to get done. Oh well, gives me something to do I suppose.

- I love my girls more than anything, but it's been quite the transition from being with them every moment outside of work to only seeing them a few hours a week and every other weekend. They are non-stop. It's like they are physically incapable of being still for more than a couple of minutes. That is, unless they're sitting on my lap, especially if 2 of them are on my lap. Then they are content to sit there for an hour. Long past when my legs fall asleep. But I hate to shoo them off. They were like this back when I was always with them, but I was acclimated. I barely noticed. Not now. It can be kind of obnoxious.

- This may be pretty sad, being so late and all, but I think I finally understand this whole 'leave the seat down for the females' thing. Way back in high school, I think it was my sister who was the first to complain about it to me. She got mad at me for her falling in the toilet. Of course I had to ask why she just didn't turn the light on and check, and she replied with the most likely standard, "It wakes me up." Now at the time, I thought that was curious, but didn't think about it too hard. Nor did I make much effort at putting the seat down. I mean really, you're already up and going to the bathroom, why aren't you awake?

But last night I witnessed my 6 yr old heading to the restroom at 11:30pm. I'd stayed up late reading and my bed is just situation that if I lay off to the side I can see down the hallway. I leave the bathroom light on for them just for this kind of situation and I watched her walk down the hallway towards the bathroom. Her eyes were barely open and I think she was still asleep. She went in, sat on the toilet for more than twice as long as necessary (yeah, she didn't close the door) didn't flush, didn't wash her hands, but she did turn the light off. I think I understand now that maybe most girls don't actually wake up to go to the bathroom.

Very weird.

- Regretting that I didn't order a new stapler back when I thought about it last. Now I'm fighting a broken one, trying to finish paperwork. Should I order a red one?


- Kinda funny that our customers complain about building codes and inspections. Yeah...we don't need buildings falling down in the wind.



- Haven't played Halo since Tuesday. Huh.

- Walked to my car through a light drizzle this morning and got out 1/2 hour later to no rain, clear skies, 30 mph winds, and a forecast of snow the next 3 days. Friggin' Wyoming.

- Netflix'ed the The Ugly Truth last night. Funny movie. Have never heard it called "flicking the bean" before.

- I think I might go see Tron tonight. Anyone wanna go with me?

Happily Holidays

Thought I'd share my latest desktop wallpaper. The bestest one yet.

clickity for a bigger version

The Route 66 picture was taken just 3 short years ago. My how time flies.

Letters from the Editor

Dear admin. assistant,

This is your last week and I wish you well on your future endeavors. Sorry to see you go but it was fun that we ended it with a bang by getting toasted at the builders association holiday party. I've never seen anyone get so drunk on so little alcohol. At least you weren't like the lady in the parking lot who was screaming at her friends to give her keys back. I hope they didn't.

Good luck!
Bossman



Dear alcohol,

Why does an open bar make me forget that I don't really like to drink you? Well, I shouldn't say that. You taste good, but I don't like the effects of drinking you. I'm not a 'hangover' kind of guy, I'm a 'get sick right away and then have no hangover' kind of guy. Although it was probably the coffee between drinks of you that had the worst effect. Laying awake in bed for 3 hours was worse than the sick part.

Smell ya later,
Farfrompuken




Dear cute girl in the red dress at the party,

Do you realize what I had to do to get the juevos to ask you to dance? I didn't see you dance with anyone else so was expecting a 'no', but still.

Maybe next time,
Rejected




Dear wonderful weather,

Thank you so much for visiting! It's been wonderful having you here for the last couple of days. I know you're scheduled to head out soon, but you are more than welcome to hang around forever.

Appreciatively,
Isthatevenaword?




Dear Department of Family Services,

I can imagine your job isn't all that easy. In such a low income area the majority of the dads are probably less than willing to pay child support. I am not one of them. You don't have to assume I'm not willing to pay. Do you really consider garnishment right away? It may just be me, but I think there's a bit of a stigma attached to the word 'garnishment'. Like you had to do that because I wouldn't pay. But hopefully you won't do that. I would appreciate it.

May I always live to serve you and your crown,
3babydaddy




Dear Life,

I sure hope you get turned around soon. I've been bored out of my gourd lately. I know, I know, you're what I make of you, but when my hands are tied and the work and money aren't there, I guess this is what happens.

See you soon,
Boredtotears

What to do, what to do...

So fellow bloggers, what should I do? Should I fight for custody?

To set the stage: I got served a hearing summons to establish child support. The stbx filed for state aid and in order for her to even get considered, child support needs to be established by a judge. I understand and don't really have a problem with that, but right on the front page it states that she's the custodial parent and I'm the non-custodial parent. I don't remember giving away my custodial rights, but the way we're currently handling money and time with the girls, it's as if she had primary custody. Logistically, considering the girls' school and all, it just makes sense.

Almost all of our mutual friends & family have, at one point, encouraged me to get custody of our girls. Or at least not give up custody. I'm not sure that's the best thing, but I'm afraid if I don't start fighting now, it'll only get more difficult.

At this point I'm not inclined to fight for custody. Not a small part of that decision is the potential of spending up to $10,000 for a 50/50 chance, at best. But it kills me to think that it might negatively affect my relationship with my girls if I don't. Considering the regular upkeep of kids; a place to sleep, meals, school, medical stuff, I don't really have a problem with her taking care of all of that. I trust that she can do it well enough. I don't even mind paying a full custody amount even if we shared custody. It's just money. I just don't want to lose any more time with them and I'm afraid that their mom will not go out of her way to make sure I have that time.



What do you guys think?

6 degrees of...

Saw these little beauties over at GeekDad. They're personal 3D movie glasses.

I would imagine the theaters would still make you pay the $2 surcharge for 3D movies, but if they didn't, it would take 60 viewings to get your money back. How many RealD 3D movies have there been lately? Five maybe?



Maybe I need to buy them to look cool because I heard my boss, who's only 2 or 3 years older than me, has a new super-hot doctor girlfriend and it's getting serious. They've introduced the kids and she's taking him on a kid-free European vacation.

He ain't any more good looking than I am. Makes more money, but maybe there's hope for me after all? He has a motorcycle. Maybe that's the key...



Dear Santa, I want a

*drool* I really miss the ride. Not so much with the cold weather right now, but dang if I wouldn't layer up with leathers and do it anyway. We may have to do something about that license plate location though. I'd need a helmet with speakers though. Couldn't live without my tunes.


Spent a few hours on Saturday perusing Amazon's music selection. Spent about $8. I think it's cool you don't have to buy the whole album. I'll usually listen to 4 or 5 songs on a cd and skip the rest. The issue I have with Amazon is that you can't pick songs for a download que. It's song by song, which makes you go through 4 pages to get back to the list you were browsing. It's also hard to find things you like that way. So I used YouTube to listen to the whole song first.


dmarks posted a video of Phil Collins live performance of "In The Air Tonight." Which just makes me want to learn to play the drums. To sing and play the drums at the same time takes some major talent. So that got me watching Genesis videos. The old ones. And had to laugh at the headless guitars.
Speaking of no head...

Oh never mind.

Let the games begin...later

So a friend of mine, who is also happens to be my bosses brother in law and a customer of ours, tried to set me up with his secretary yesterday.

Just to get this out of the way, since some of my readers might wonder, she is very attractive. Like 'out of my league' attractive. I know a little about her from him and she doesn't sound like long term relationship material, but certainly someone to have fun with. Although I suspect that she's into the whole drinking scene, which is fine to a certain extent, but that's not really my thing.

Anyway. I said "Thanks, but no thanks" and explained that I wasn't going to jump into that 'scene' until the divorce was done (or at least close to being done), even if it is just for fun. I wouldn't mind doing parties or something like that, but not 1-on-1 dating. Not to mention the fact that I have absolutely no desire to date yet.

He said the best way to pick up chicks (yeah, he's a little chauvinistic) was to have some arm candy. I suppose that makes some sort of sick sense.

Then he called me a chicken. :D

That actually got me thinking; I may have some fears and issues to deal with before I can be comfortable with dating again. Just the idea kinda freaked me out. I know, just be myself. The thing is, I know for a fact that I'm a 'nice' guy. I also know what that means in 'date speak'.

Bo. Ring.

Oh well. I'm not going to worry about it too much yet.

I'll bet he talked to her about it already. So here I am, having said "no" to a date with a bombshell and her knowing about it. Dangit.



On a happier note, the girlies and I picked out our tree last night. A 5' Frasier. Not too bad considering the slim pickings this late in the decorating season. Got about 700 lights to put on it. Not sure if that's enough. Ha! My stbx was nice enough to get my ornaments together early for me. She even bought a couple of plastic totes and wrapped them all. Even the fabric ones...? I haven't gone through them to see if they're all there, but I don't really doubt it. The only crummy note was that the prongs on the bottom of the stand broke off when I was putting the tree in it. So it's either return it and have that problem again or weld it on myself and know it's never coming off again. Wouldn't mind melting a little metal with electricity. It's kinda fun when you don't have to do it.

Letters from the Editor

Dear asian lady who stopped by my office this morning,

I'm really sorry I couldn't (wouldn't) help you, but when I said I didn't understand you, it's not that I didn't understand the situation (and therefore needed more explanation), it's that I didn't understand the words you were saying. Besides, in no way shape or form do I want to get involved in any domestic dispute involving an employee who may or may not have done something wrong. The guy makes $9.50/hr cutting pieces of wood. He doesn't need to be a saint and I certainly can't fire him for it.

Sincerely,
Gotsmyownissues




Dear Windows Live Writer,

I'm not going to use you anymore. I don't want a double space after every paragraph. I usually do, but it would be nice to have the option.

Catch ya later,
bloggertextwriteruser




Dear Pandora (the internet radio),

I understand that you are a radio station, therefore you have a limited number of songs to play for any given genre, just like every other station. But you have quite a few stations that are very similar. Maybe you could swap songs across stations every once in a while. Pretty please? Yes, I know I can just switch stations, but at that point, there's a high probability that I could guess which song I'm going to hear.

Love you anyway,
RockerOner



Dear Bury,

I enjoy playing Halo with you and am glad you bought the new maps. But I have never heard anyone complain so much about anything! Opinions are everyone's right to be had, but sharing the same negative opinion over and over and over doesn't encourage those who regularly play with you to continue. If the game sucks so bad why do you keep playing it? Is it because you have a somewhat captive audience? Hmmm?

Lower your expectations,
3GirlKnight




Dear 3girlknight,

You've used "I" 17 times already in this post. Get over yourself.

Regards,
KenV




Dear girlies,

I miss you. Even though we'll be hanging out together tonight, I still miss you. Can't wait to pick out a tree tonight.

I love you,
Dad

p.s. - Please stop calling me 'Hey' or 'Mom'. I'm neither of those people.




Dear US Citizens,

You should be proud to be part of a country, that as a whole, has at least a little respect for our enemies. Remember Pearl Harbor today. We received a massive attack by Japan, yet even after our awful retaliation, US leaders had the presence of mind to send millions of dollars and skilled leaders into Japan to rebuild it. (Would you believe they did better at helping rebuilding Japan than they did building America at the time?) Makes the fight between Democrats & Republicans seem like a waste of breath, huh?

God bless.

Christmas decor...or lack thereof

I suppose I should have anticipated it, but it seems this Christmas is going to be kind of crummy. At least as far as decorating goes anyway. The girlies and I wandered around Hobbie Lobby and Walmart on Saturday, looking at the decorations. Didn't buy a thing. Not having my Christmas ornaments stinks. If I'd had them when I wanted them we would have put up a real tree this weekend. To put up a tree, even with lights but no ornaments, seems kind of sad to me.


I considered getting a fake tree. Something I've never ever done before. Every time I came across one that looked ok, I couldn't bring myself to do it. Real trees are a pain in the rear, but I'd still rather deal with the pain rather than have a plastic tree. Besides, it's tradition.

Then there's everything else, besides the tree. I could do with just a tree for a year or two but eventually I want to begin my own decoration collection. I didn't really have an idea of what I wanted to do and didn't want to spend the money on something I wasn't sure I wanted. Nativity scenes are pretty high on the list, but I'd rather find something special, rather than the mass manufactured stuff at Walmart. Fort Collins is nearby and has some really fantastic art stores I'd rather browse. There's a Ten Thousand Villages store that has some really cool ones.

This one is from a Peruvian trading company, Allpa.

So I feel kind of bad for my girls. Because they have to move, their mom isn't going to put anything up, even though she has all the decorations we've accumulated over the years. The girlies and I are going to spend Christmas weekend with my parents, but they'll have been moved into their new house for a whole 5 days. My mom says they'll have a tree, but it will probably not be the same wonderful decorations she usually has.

When I was a kid, Christmas was the best time of year for me. The way my mom decorated, the tree, all the family gathering, the food, and of course the presents, was wonderful. Maybe I remember it being a lot nicer than it really was, but so what? I want that for my kids and I really don't feel I've been able to give it to them. I think a large part of that is the way my stbx did presents. She was always apologizing to the kids for not being able to give them more. That's not the point. So I'm glad I don't have to deal with that this year.

Right now I'm thinking if I can get a tree set up by Thursday evening, and get my ornaments by then, I'll have the girls help me decorate it. They gotta have something.

Did you know the US Capitol Christmas Tree is coming out of Wyoming this year? Wyoming schoolchildren made 5,000 ornaments to decorate it. I never saw it, but it took a tour through Wyoming on it's way to DC. (This is not the same tree as the National Christmas Tree.)

So how are your decorations coming?

My little She-Ra

Spacey's been on a She-Ra kick ever since she found it on Netflix. It's a pretty funny show. They're watching one episode after the other and the theme song's getting stuck in my head.

Maybe next Halloween she can be She-Ra. With a longer skirt. She's got the blond hair for it.

Did you watch She-Ra as a kid? (adult?) Did you ever notice how ripped all the guys in the show are. Even the baker has schwarzenegger-esq pecks & biceps.

Too Much to Say

I'm echoing crazy4coens Not Much to Say post here, with a few more words.

I was going to do the Friday 5 but due to recent developments, I'm not much in the holiday mood. I try (unsuccessfully sometimes) to not rant & rave too much about the separation here, but it's gonna happen today. If you'd like to skip it, there's a little non-ranting down at the bottom.

The stbx suddenly decided that it's not ok for me to go into her house without her being there. I can understand that and really have no problem with it, besides the fact that the last 3 months haven't been an issue and it's happening right on the weekend that I would like to get my piano! I know, I know. ChopperPapa was right about the controlling thing.

And she's getting evicted. Saw that one a mile away. The crummy thing is that she's calling my parents for help and I'm not sure how much they expect me to help. In my opinion, it's exactly what needs to happen. I've been encouraging her to find a cheaper place since I moved out. I'm not going to help any more than I agreed to already. I have too many big ticket expenses to take care of. The other crummy thing is that apparently it's all my fault. Of course.

I didn't yell. Much. She kept asking me if I was still on the phone because I'd stop talking. I knew if I opened my mouth the shit would fall out.

Then she dropped a little nugget on my dad about me not answering my phone. Mmmkay...so answering a morning call and missing an evening call, on the same day, constitutes as "never answering the phone."

You know, when someone loads the f-bomber and flies it around for you, it's hard not to hit the 'fire' button.


End rant, begin non-rant (almost):

On an entirely different note, one intended to make me less pissed off, I'm catching up on episodes of "The Guild." Totally a geek thing, but Felicia Day is cute and the show is pretty funny.

But even that's frustrating. A 40 mph wind is blowing so our internet is acting up and the video keeps resetting. *sigh*

Randomednesday

- A pair of sales ladies from a graphics company visited this morning. Their sales pitch involved being overly interested in our product, so I gave them a quick tour of the shop. They were both attractive, but the younger, less-senior one was very, very cute. Like ‘pitter-patter of the heart’ cute. *sigh* My female assistant said it was nice of me to give the guys some eye candy. (No, I didn’t think of it that way.)

- Speaking of my assistant, she gave me her 2 week notice this morning. Kinda saw it coming. She’s a great worker but her personal life got in the way of work a little too much. She’s moving across the country. One of the Carolinas I think. Mixed blessing I suppose. I’m not going to fill the spot right away, so it will give me something to do through the winter and help us save some money in our slow season. Nice thing is that she said that if it wasn’t for me being such a good boss, she would have left at least 6 months ago. *backpat*

- So I asked my stbx for my Christmas ornaments. (Yes, I know I should have taken them when I first left.) She wants to go through them, sort them out so I don’t take any of hers. That’s all fine and dandy, but then she gives me an excuse about not having time to do it. She doesn’t want me to do it because she thinks I’ll take hers. So what? Am I supposed to wait until after Christmas to get them? sheesh  Why would I want her ornaments?!

- I’ll be getting my piano back this weekend. Instead of trying to get it done myself, I’ll fork over a little dough to my foreman and not worry about trying to find a trailer and muscle. It’ll be nice to play some Christmas music again. I miss it. Hope we can get it into my new place without having to dismantle the front door.

- Do you think those 2 sales ladies would get a kick out of hearing what they did to this place? Might put a smile on their face to hear all the jokes that I heard. Or would it be creepy? (I would write it as creepy-free as possible.) It would certainly show off how redneck we are.

- What an awkward blog title.

- What an awkward dog smile.