How do you think your guest feels when you start his introduction with, "Bear with us folks while we get through this next guest. Then we'll get back to the phones." Sheesh. Make him feel important why don't you?
Sarcastically,
Dudenotlisteningtoyourshowanymore
Dear Key of Awesome,
Your guys' stuff is awesome. Obviously. Your parody of Katy Perrys' Firework is hilarious and I love the Eminem stuff. I wish I had your kind of imagination.
Shine on,
Roflcoptering
Dear scanner,
You suck.
Mess with you later,
Frustratedscanneruserwhogaveupafteronlygettingtenpagesfinished-andwhoisnowgoingtoleaveitforthenextassistanthehires.
Dear pile of dirty dishes,
*sigh* I'm seriously considering asking the landlady if I can install a dishwasher. The problem is that it'll have to stick out of the wall, which would make plumbing it easy, but would make my place less aerodynamic and kill my fuel mileage. I think I'm going to switch you all to plastic or acrylic and let my kids take care of you. It'll be fun! Like a waterpark for utensils. Just don't let the Blackhole ride take your top off.
Ciao,
Lazybumwhohateswashingdishesbyhand
Dear coworkers who walk through my office after I fart,
Sorry.
Should I put up some sort of warning? What if I put my calculator upside down? Or a big red ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK sign? Or....OR....maybe you should stop using my office as a hallway!!
If you see me eating chili cheese fries for lunch, and comment on how good it smells, you might want to reconsider a later visit. Even if you come over and don't smell it yet, if I get up and wander over to the coffee maker, you might want to tag along.
For you own good,
Holdonlemmeopenawindow.
Dear Readers,
Hopefully these were at least a little better than the last two stinkers of LftE posts.
Get it. Stinkers.
Anyway... I think the first one set the bar higher than I could regularly deliver on, but hopefully I can pull better ones out in the future.
Sincerely,
Me
Wow, that radio host is the worst! You can't help but imagine his guest sort of shrinking into his chair after that intro.
ReplyDeleteI have never had a dishwasher and it is a job I don't mind too much...maybe it will grow on you? Like a fungus?
I live with a thirteen year old boy, so your farts do not scare me! bwahahahaha!
Your LftE posts are fun and not at all stinky
:-) Really. Seriously. And your photo illustrations are magnificent.
Love love love the Office Space reference. A classic!
ReplyDeleteFarting in the office, keep quite and blame it on the dog (if there is one) if there isn't you might want to consider bringing one it.
ReplyDeletelaura - I know! Dishwashing isn't too bad. I just like to complain about it. Yeah, well your 13 year old doesn't get beer farts. They're the worst!
ReplyDeletecrazy4coens - Glad you like it!
Chopper - Now there's an idea. Hmmm...