*crunch* *grind*

The human mind is an amazing thing. To even consider our ability to reason can be daunting at times. We've been given the gift of thought. The gift of personal reflection. The gift of debate. The gift of altruism, and many more.

But the mind has limits. Or at least mine does. There's a certain point where the brain is subjected to an overload of input. Too much information, confusing or contradictory information, even too many different kinds of information.

I'm not a scientist, neurosurgeon, or a psychiatric doctor. This is from my own experience and there has been too much of this experience lately. My mind has been overloaded almost daily for a few weeks now.

Imagine the brain as a set of gears. With the splines, teeth, and clutch plates working properly, everything meshes and is in sync. During the course of a day, those gears in my brain change a lot. I wish I could put a number on it. Have someone follow me for a day and count the number of times I'm asked to stop thinking of one thing and switch to another. It has to be in the hundreds. When those gears don't mesh smoothly, things grind, growl, and smoke. It becomes more difficult to shift between gears.

The majority of the information comes from work. That's my primary role; head problem solver. Everyone has a problem that needs solving. I can think of at least 7 different areas within the company; sales, design, shipping, etc... that I'm asked to help in. It's a regular scene to have the salesman standing right behind the designer at the door of my office. Both having entirely different issues that need urgent attention. I'd like to think I've done a very good job at giving people the means to solve their own problems more often, but it'll never go away entirely.

It also seems I've become a better listener. Or at least more of my employees are coming to me with their personal issues. They're not usually asking for advice, but just venting. I'm a problem solver by nature, so it's hard to tune that out and not even consider possible solutions.

Then there's the ex, who can't seem to take a hint, or even comprehend the direct statement, "I don't want to talk to you unless it's about the kids." That topic has been covered to death, so I will not subject you to the details. Suffice it to say it's the same old crap.

So what happens? The brain shifts to neutral. Things still spin, but nothing is meshing. Video games become overwhelming. Social networking is beyond comprehension. Good books gather dust. That roast in the fridge waiting to be cooked eventually spoils. Anything except a mindless television show, which lets the imagination take a nap, becomes very unattractive.

I have not wanted to play a video game for the past 2 weeks. I have, since I signed up for it and told people I would commit, but it's a chore and I play terribly. I don't even want to think about putting in the effort of being that coordinated. Is it sad that it's only taken me that long to watch 3+ seasons of Battlestar Galactica?

There's really nothing to be done about it in the short term. Work is work and I'm lucky to have it. The ex will always be needy and inconsiderate. Relief comes during winter, when work slows down. I'm not quite to the point of hoping for snow though. I suppose that's a good thing.


And it's a damned miracle this post even got written.