Ummm...yeah......no.
I regularly browse and read articles on LinkedIn (if anyone wants to link, lemme know) and just read an article about entitlement. The article specifically talked about how it affects innovation, but just seeing the word "entitlement" was almost too coincidental.
If we were doing this in anything other than a 'no fault' state, some of the things she brings up might actually have bearing on the final decree. But we don't and she has no idea what 'no fault' means. Our state doesn't do alimony. Sorry, no $350 a month for the rest of your life. Where did she come up with $350?
One surprising thing was how much she restrained herself on asking for more child support. It's actually not a completely unreasonable amount. It's more than the court will set, but it's not ridiculous. But add all the other crap on top of that and it quickly becomes unreasonable.
She even put in there that she should get half of whatever inheritance I might be able to give. Wahuh?
She also thinks the girls will not be adults until they turn 21. There are certain things like carrying insurance and college funds that might apply until then, but not child support.
What's the deal with not letting me attend our kids activities unless she's there? Is she trying to imply that the girls aren't safe to be with me in a public place, but just fine at my home? Psycho much?
If I use the income amounts she states in her proposal (which in itself is unnecessary) I would actually pay about $200 less per month in child support than I do now, according to the county's website calculator.
So here we are. To the point I predicted over a year ago. That it would be a contested divorce. Goodbye money. Have fun with the lawyer. Now the question of whether or not I should fight for custody rears it's head. The ex is a decent mom. But that's about it. She can't handle money and has a sense of entitlement the size of Wyoming. I would hate for my girls to pick that up. Unless the lawyer is adamant that I just can't win, I've already decided to fight.
To end on a good note, I've lost 19 pounds since October. I even stopped going to the gym the week before Christmas. It's all about consumption. Boy do I miss my copious amounts of ice cream.
I should not have pulled up this picture.
Alimony? What is this, I Love Lucy era? Child support, of course...ex-spouse support, hellz no.
ReplyDeleteSounds sort of like she just threw a bunch of things out there to see what would stick? Also sounds like, unfortunately, you will have to have someone with legal knowledge school her.
Also, I'm no lawyer, but I would say 50/50 physical custody would be the best you could hope for. She'd have to have something seriously wrong to lose the kids completely. At least that is my understanding.
Best of luck as you move forward...at least you ARE moving forward! Yay!
Well its a start! Try not to let the stress of the battle get to you. I agree with laura b. that it seems like she is fishing for whatever she can land. Once this is settled, and it will be eventually, you will be so much happier knowing exactly what you really do face. I'm betting your stbx will be much less happy than you are.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on both the GM position and the weight loss.
ReplyDeleteAre you guys not going to split custody? It's hard to take full custody away from a mom unless she's negligent or abusive. Best to try to find a compromise on that one.
Best of luck. Be sure to keep an eye on your other areas of well-being, if you decide to fight. Keep yourself healthy and rested, as much as possible. Your girls will be no better off with a Dad who is ill.
ReplyDeleteI'd also advise not to air too much here (as much as I and others may wish to cheer you on and such.) You never know when what you say may be used against you. Just a little paranoid warning!
I agree with Suldog. Alas. Find someone in person to talk about this with. And I'm sorry. Just make sure too that there's some stipulation that you don't end up paying for her court fees also. Just keep your eye out. FYI, on a morose note, a friend of a friend has been in court far to long because every time he agrees to some outrageous demand, they think that since he agreed, they can ask for more. Not sure how to avoid that loop. Best best of luck.
ReplyDeleteDude, you know it was going to come to that. I mean attorneys are attorneys. They will ask for the moon hoping to get somewhere around the ozone.
ReplyDeleteGod knows how i detest them.
Hey, I sent you an invitation to my blog which, unfortunately, I had to take underground. If it doesn't reach you let me know (undergroundblog11@gmail.com) and I'll re-send.
ReplyDelete