It seems part of the separation involves me losing the 2 pieces of furniture I’ve built myself. Not that I mind so much, I really think of them as the girls’, and I can always build another, but still…
The first was finished years ago. A decent sized bookshelf that’s served us well over the years.
I would really like to keep this one, since it was my first project. Maybe I still can, since when we decided how to split the stuff she was the one who was going to move out. Now it’s me who’s moving.
The second is this mini-picnic table. It’s only about 4’ long, built out of 2x6 pine. Very heavy! I can drag it around by myself, but forget actually lifting it. It was the girls’ craft table inside for a while, but the wife commandeered the office so it went outside and has actually served as a picnic table. Most of the artwork has been washed off by the rain and faded by the sun already. It took me all of about 4 hours to build and didn’t pay retail for the lumber, so not a big loss.
When I find my new place, I’ll need to replace the girls’ beds. I found some free plans online for bunk beds built out of 2x4’s. Should be able to do it for less than 50 bucks. (Just for the frame though. I’ll still have to buy mattresses.) Since I’m probably only going to get a 2 bedroom place, I may even try to build ship style bunks, to fit all three beds in the same footprint as one. Wouldn’t give them much head room though. Either that or a 2 bed bunk with a trundle underneath. Anyone have any thoughts or experience about that?
On a very nice note, my 2 oldest girls, G who’s 7 and A who’s 5, have recently taken to giving me unprompted & random kisses. *sigh*…the heart goes pitter patter.
So Pamela mentioned in a recent comment to go ahead and feel free to write those depressing posts. Well, it’s not that I don’t feel free to, or don’t plan on doing it again, it’s just that I feel like most of my posts have been depressing. In real life, quite a few of the conversations I’ve had with friends over the last year or so have revolved around my failing marriage, as is understandable. But for some of my friends, that’s all we’ve talked about and it seems like they’re drifting away. Which to me, is also understandable. ‘Venting’ to people all the time isn’t a fantastic way to build friendships and I don’t want to continue that route here on this blog or in real life. So, I’ll certainly write what I feel like, and sometimes that’ll involve the depressing stuff, but not always.
Along those lines, I was somewhat enlightened by a friend of mine recently. We were talking about the depressing stuff, specifically about how my wife and I talk to each other. I feel she’s been repeating the same things over and over to me, I suppose to get me to understand something as she feels I don’t yet understand. (I believe I do understand but have failed to convince her of that…but that’s another topic.) I said to him that common sense tells us that if we continue to say the same things to someone and they don’t understand, that we should either change how we say it or change what we say, and why hasn’t my wife thought of that. His very simple response was, “Well, common sense doesn’t really apply here.”
Oo
Thinking of that has certainly affected my expectation of our conversations. In other words, I don’t expect anything except a waste of time. Of course we’ll have to figure things out, but it seems it’ll be on her time. Oh well. Live & learn.
Thanks for reading!
Not only have I been through a divorce, but I have had many, many patients over the years who have also. In my experience, no one ever feels like the division of things is fair. Because it can't be - there always things both people in the couple want. Even if you can divide things in a friendly way, it's still there. Every time I'm at my ex's house to walk the dog or water the plants while he's away, I see things that were also mine -some of them for 20 years. It's just a tough thing.
ReplyDeleteHe who fears the LORD has a secure fortress,
ReplyDeleteand for his children it will be a refuge.
Proverbs 14:26
Have your kids slept in bunk beds before? With 5 kids we tried them several times over the years and while they enjoyed playing in them, no one would ever really sleep in the top bunk. However, my oldest granddaughter loves her high bed. Anyway, just asking :-)
ReplyDeletesawoman - Yeah, I know it's only stuff, but it's my stuff! My 7 yr old's been getting on my case about taking the big LCD TV and leaving them with the little tube TV. My response is that they just need to come over and stay with me!
ReplyDelete4coens - I could sure use a refuge right about now. And He provides the best.
laura - Yeah, my 2 oldest share a bunk bed now. After I posted I thought about how much of a pain it is to change the sheets on that stupid thing. Maybe I'll have to think of something else...or just put up with it.
We did a similar thing with a trundle under a full bed that worked well. I had a terrible experience with a top bunk as a child, but I doubt that could happen twice.
ReplyDeleteI too have lost a great deal of what was mine through my split. SAW is right. It is hard to let go of things you love with all their connections to your life, but you do it. Nothing else you can do.
As for the split... very hard too. But I can tell you this; for me, it was the best thing that ever has happened to me. Painful and time stretched out the misery. Having gone through it, I hope you find happiness beyond. I have and I wish that for you.
Glad to see you back! Blog on.