Randomursday

- We have a job for a customer with the last name Beardsley. Whenever I see the name, I can't help but think, "Beardsley of bees" and stroke my non-existent beard.

- I just enjoyed giving one of our designers a really hard time for not knowing or even being willing to figure out how to FedEx something. Yes, I called him incompetent... I'm thinking now I should have gone with "lazy bastard."

- I also enjoyed listening to that same designer cuss out the paper towel dispenser. That barely offset the fact that I had to listen to him pee as I sit in my acoustically challenged office.

- I added "as I sit" to the previous sentence because without it, it sounded like he was in my office while doing the peeing.

- Yes Pandora, I'm still listening.

- Where'd my blue Sharpie go?

- Watching the production schedule today is like watching and waiting for the tea kettle...

- Oh for cryin' out loud...where's my black pen!?

- Milestone is nice enough to provide a pen and a box on their coffee bags to write the name of the coffee you picked to grind. Guess who didn't use it... Picked a great coffee and don't remember the name.

- Don't ask me where that beard thing came from. I have no idea.

- This has been the first week where I have not been able to figure out a solution to all the problems without majorly affecting deliveries. I'm a damn good problem solver, so that might tell you how terrifically horrible the last 5 workdays have been. I've had to pull all of the paperwork out of the shop and start over twice already this week. I haven't done that in the 4 years I've been here.

- We have a customer who always calls in and starts talking to whomever answers the phone like they know everything about the job he's talking about. There's only 1 person in this office that handles his orders.

- I've spent the last 3 hours doing data entry that's been piling up over the last 4 days. I need a freakin' assistant!!

- Gonna do some campsite scouting this weekend. Don't really want to go by myself, but I don't know what else to do since I decided to take the day off tomorrow. Maybe I'll find a fish or two.

Have a great week/end everyone.

Kindle stuff + friendship thoughts

Kindle Review:

• Very good. I downloaded A Dance with Dragons, the 5th in the Ice and Fire series. Good book and I like reading it on the Kindle.
• Don't care for the price of the covers though. The cheapest through Amazon is $35 (up to $85!) I found a dust cover at Target for $30. There were full zip up covers too, but I like the 'book' feel of the dust cover. It's about the size of a small slimline bible.
• A really wants to use it. Gotta get kids books on it for them now. And make them talk like pirates...or is that commandeer...
• I charged it when I first got it and haven't plugged it in again. The battery indicator has only dropped about 20%. Haven't spent a lot of time browsing the store though. I guess leaving the wireless on drains the battery faster.
• I did find out some books are free, but they're free from the publisher, not Kindle, so Amazon doesn't advertise that I guess.

To get some rattling thoughts about friendship out:

Friendship is not an easy thing for me. I know some people who just tend to attract friends. That ain't me. I've been told I come across as cold and a little distant. I can see that. Not sure what to do about it, but I understand.

Thinking back over my adult life, I have a hard time seeing any 'great' friends. I spent quite a bit of time with a guy in CA, but it was friendship by association with my ex, and I think he just liked me for my access to an auto shop.

Then there's the guy I thought was my friend here in WY, but it's become fairly obvious I'm just a tool for him too.

I don't think my ex was ever a great friend either. Which explains some things I suppose.

Developing great friendships is a skill. One I don't have. But I also know I'm not alone in that. There are a bunch of single lonely guys out there. My mom was talking about a male cousin of mine the other day, saying he doesn't have any sort of social skills and that's why he can't keep girlfriends. I wonder how similar we are...

The key is effort. I don't put any in and don't expect to get anything out either, but by doing that there's no learning. I'm not learning how to get out my rut. Get out of myself, so to speak. For 10 years or so most of my friendships were closely tied to my marriage, in one way or another. It's not that she got the friends in the divorce, she actually alienated some of them. But that association made it pretty effortless to make friends, or at least find people to hang out with.

I wonder how much of this I inherited. My parents never had a lot of friends. They might know a couple or two that they played cards with every once in a while, but we never entertained. We were all content to do our own thing I guess.

I dunno. Just something I think about. Not too worried about it. Certainly not getting depressed about it. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't want a good friend or two. Or at least someone to hang out with and cook for every once in a while...

Move along...nothing to see here

There are at least 3 blog post drafts setting in my queue. I just cannot muster enough brainpower to develop the topics further than the 2 sentences they're at so far.

My brain is toast. I'm exhausted. The stress level at work is growing...even on top of the high level it was at a week ago. All of that means the paranoia is setting in.

These "I want to quit so badly" phases are coming more frequently. It's just so frustrating to be part of a company that can't seem to force itself to be at least a little successful, even though I'm busting my ass to please the customer and get stuff done.

I know that I am succeeding, at least on a personal level, but what's the point...? I mean, who is ever really going to know what happened? I could describe it to a potential employer, but they'll never really know. You might think my boss would know...but I don't know that because he has NEVER acknowledged it. EVER.

If you can't give me a raise, at least throw me a bone.

And that's it for my rant. Thank you.

Kindle review & randomnessness

- The Kindle has arrived. Haven't actually bought anything yet. They let you preview the first chapters before committing to a purchase. You can even put your own PDF's on it to read. It's nice and light. Holding it up with one hand isn't any worse that a decent sized paperback. It says you can put MP3's on it and listen, but I haven't quite figured out how to access them.

I brought it to the gym and set it on the machine's rack. It was too far away to read at the default text size, but it didn't take anything to upsize the font. More page turns, but that's ok.

I got the 3G/wi-fi version with the ads. The ads only show up in the menu and screensaver, which was totally worth the $50 savings. They can pander to me all they want, I ain't gonna get an Amazon American Express card...

- Work has been so exhausting, yet I still worked up something enough to go to the gym for about 45 minutes this evening. I really should be in bed right now. These 12-11 hour days are brutal.

- Listening to What is Love by Haddaway.

Can't help but do the SNL head bob...

- I really should be in bed, but I need to cover some points at an early morning meeting, which I am in no way prepared for. And I need to pick up donuts for it.

- The HR manager is willing to do most of the grunt work of finding a new assistant. We're going to actually require some skills testing as well. People can say they know Excel or Outlook, but I'm not going to hire them to find out for sure. Still have to do face to face interviews though. Something I'm not excited for. I'm getting better at it, but it's still a shot in the dark. I'm very trusting and optimistic when it comes to people, which is not a great attribute for good hiring.

Enough already. Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the big Dominican bugs bite.

Ramblings...and a NEW TOY!

- I'd forget my head if it weren't bolted on.
- I'd forget my glasses if they weren't setting on my nose.
- I'd forget my nuts if I didn't carry them around in a sack.
- I'd forget my kids birthdays if they weren't programmed into my phone.
- I'd forget.....what was it again?


- My new assistant is no longer assisting. The almost complete inability to function under any sort of pressure is remarkable. Even the slightest amount of nervous tension would really frustrate her. She would try and work through it, but her communication became very confused and confusing. I even told her that if I didn't know something about what she was trying to explain, I would be completely lost. She was assigned the simple task of hunting down a purchase order number, which does involve some problem solving, and she actually resented having been assigned that task. Reminds me of my ex...

So here we are again. Looking for a new assistant. My fourth in almost four years. The first was a thief. The temp after her was great. The next permanent hire was very nice. Too nice. Her voice was so soft no one could hear her over the phone. I then hired the temp back permanently. I wish she was still here, but she moved 1,700 miles away. And the last was the lady who left today. When I told her it was her last day, she even said that she had planned on resigning. Not sure if I believe that or not, but whatever.

- So I took Silly Rabbits advice and started exercising again. Even signed up at a gym. First time in a gym since 2000. They have TV's built right into the equipment now. (Do I look like a dork when I laugh out loud at a Seinfeld episode that no one else can hear?)

- Maybe I'll finally get a smokin' hot assistant...

- The job posting was put up this afternoon. One young lady brought in her application about 10 minutes after the previous assistant left. She didn't quite grasp the fact that maybe the guy messing with the paperwork on the reception desk was the guy she needed to impress. I asked her a few questions and she seemed kind of eager to leave. Not like I was scaring her away, but like she had somewhere better to be.

- They need to make me the companies Director of Production Operations. Yeah, that's it...

- Found a couple books that are interesting enough to keep reading. One is a good 'ol Clive Cussler novel. Can't go wrong with Clive. Even his novels with 'guest' authors are good.

- I'm seriously considering purchasing the Kindle. I have piles of paperback books that need to not grow. The last book in a Song of Ice and Fire series is out. Dance with Dragons. eBooks are even cheaper than hardcovers.

Aw heck. Where's my debit card?

I looked at both the Kindle and the Nook. The biggest benefit to the Nook is the free classic books. But the Kindle has free 3G, (if you're willing to put up with a little ad on the menu screen to save $50) which doesn't require a wi-fi connection to download.

- Clickity! Order has been placed. It'll be here Tuesday. Yay!

- Didn't even have to get off my chair. You make it far too easy Amazon...

*crunch* *grind*

The human mind is an amazing thing. To even consider our ability to reason can be daunting at times. We've been given the gift of thought. The gift of personal reflection. The gift of debate. The gift of altruism, and many more.

But the mind has limits. Or at least mine does. There's a certain point where the brain is subjected to an overload of input. Too much information, confusing or contradictory information, even too many different kinds of information.

I'm not a scientist, neurosurgeon, or a psychiatric doctor. This is from my own experience and there has been too much of this experience lately. My mind has been overloaded almost daily for a few weeks now.

Imagine the brain as a set of gears. With the splines, teeth, and clutch plates working properly, everything meshes and is in sync. During the course of a day, those gears in my brain change a lot. I wish I could put a number on it. Have someone follow me for a day and count the number of times I'm asked to stop thinking of one thing and switch to another. It has to be in the hundreds. When those gears don't mesh smoothly, things grind, growl, and smoke. It becomes more difficult to shift between gears.

The majority of the information comes from work. That's my primary role; head problem solver. Everyone has a problem that needs solving. I can think of at least 7 different areas within the company; sales, design, shipping, etc... that I'm asked to help in. It's a regular scene to have the salesman standing right behind the designer at the door of my office. Both having entirely different issues that need urgent attention. I'd like to think I've done a very good job at giving people the means to solve their own problems more often, but it'll never go away entirely.

It also seems I've become a better listener. Or at least more of my employees are coming to me with their personal issues. They're not usually asking for advice, but just venting. I'm a problem solver by nature, so it's hard to tune that out and not even consider possible solutions.

Then there's the ex, who can't seem to take a hint, or even comprehend the direct statement, "I don't want to talk to you unless it's about the kids." That topic has been covered to death, so I will not subject you to the details. Suffice it to say it's the same old crap.

So what happens? The brain shifts to neutral. Things still spin, but nothing is meshing. Video games become overwhelming. Social networking is beyond comprehension. Good books gather dust. That roast in the fridge waiting to be cooked eventually spoils. Anything except a mindless television show, which lets the imagination take a nap, becomes very unattractive.

I have not wanted to play a video game for the past 2 weeks. I have, since I signed up for it and told people I would commit, but it's a chore and I play terribly. I don't even want to think about putting in the effort of being that coordinated. Is it sad that it's only taken me that long to watch 3+ seasons of Battlestar Galactica?

There's really nothing to be done about it in the short term. Work is work and I'm lucky to have it. The ex will always be needy and inconsiderate. Relief comes during winter, when work slows down. I'm not quite to the point of hoping for snow though. I suppose that's a good thing.


And it's a damned miracle this post even got written.

Frack!

- You know you're watching too much Battlestar Galactica when you start saying "frack!"

- I need to start a regular poker night.

- Yes, I've started saying "frack!"

- Music videos that don't even attempt to follow the lyrics are confusing. Just because the lyrics don't tell a story doesn't mean that the video has to.

- Sadie didn't last long at her new home. She kept escaping. The ex has her at her apartment now. Poor dog. Just put her up for adoption already. I hear the local shelter does a really good job finding good homes.

- It's hokey looking, but I'm looking forward to Cowboys and Aliens:

- Kinda reminds me of the most recent remake of War of the Worlds. The one with Tom Cruise. I enjoyed that one. Hopefully James Bond and Indiana Jones can make this one good.

- Now that I've signed up to play in the Left 4 Dead 2 and Tiger Woods '12 video game leagues...I've had absolutely no desire to play video games. Haven't played since last Friday.

- In the SGGA (Seasoned Gamers Golf Association) I'm not doing too terribly. I shot the worst score in this latest tournament (the 3rd so far) but I'm still ranked #9 of 23. All thanks to my horrible handicap, which is the second from the worst of the 23 players.

- My L4D2 team is called the Midnight Riders, which is actually the name of the band that wrote/performed the theme song to the game.

I'm Willy. The short fat bald one. *shrug*

- Left 4 Dead is a very odd game. I played it once and it didn't endear itself to me at all. It took me a while, but I finally understand the premise, but still...it's weird. Haven't started the league yet. First practice is tomorrow.

- In case you're curious, my former gamertag was WillysK5. At the time, I was doing a body swap between a 1954 Willys Wagon and a 1976 Chevy K5 Blazer. But since I lost that project, I switched to ThreeGirlKnight. Which should be a lot more enduring.