There are at least 3 blog post drafts setting in my queue. I just cannot muster enough brainpower to develop the topics further than the 2 sentences they're at so far.
My brain is toast. I'm exhausted. The stress level at work is growing...even on top of the high level it was at a week ago. All of that means the paranoia is setting in.
These "I want to quit so badly" phases are coming more frequently. It's just so frustrating to be part of a company that can't seem to force itself to be at least a little successful, even though I'm busting my ass to please the customer and get stuff done.
I know that I am succeeding, at least on a personal level, but what's the point...? I mean, who is ever really going to know what happened? I could describe it to a potential employer, but they'll never really know. You might think my boss would know...but I don't know that because he has NEVER acknowledged it. EVER.
If you can't give me a raise, at least throw me a bone.
And that's it for my rant. Thank you.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Kindle review & randomnessness
- The Kindle has arrived. Haven't actually bought anything yet. They let you preview the first chapters before committing to a purchase. You can even put your own PDF's on it to read. It's nice and light. Holding it up with one hand isn't any worse that a decent sized paperback. It says you can put MP3's on it and listen, but I haven't quite figured out how to access them.
I brought it to the gym and set it on the machine's rack. It was too far away to read at the default text size, but it didn't take anything to upsize the font. More page turns, but that's ok.
I got the 3G/wi-fi version with the ads. The ads only show up in the menu and screensaver, which was totally worth the $50 savings. They can pander to me all they want, I ain't gonna get an Amazon American Express card...
- Work has been so exhausting, yet I still worked up something enough to go to the gym for about 45 minutes this evening. I really should be in bed right now. These 12-11 hour days are brutal.
- Listening to What is Love by Haddaway.
- I really should be in bed, but I need to cover some points at an early morning meeting, which I am in no way prepared for. And I need to pick up donuts for it.
- The HR manager is willing to do most of the grunt work of finding a new assistant. We're going to actually require some skills testing as well. People can say they know Excel or Outlook, but I'm not going to hire them to find out for sure. Still have to do face to face interviews though. Something I'm not excited for. I'm getting better at it, but it's still a shot in the dark. I'm very trusting and optimistic when it comes to people, which is not a great attribute for good hiring.
Enough already. Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the big Dominican bugs bite.
I brought it to the gym and set it on the machine's rack. It was too far away to read at the default text size, but it didn't take anything to upsize the font. More page turns, but that's ok.
I got the 3G/wi-fi version with the ads. The ads only show up in the menu and screensaver, which was totally worth the $50 savings. They can pander to me all they want, I ain't gonna get an Amazon American Express card...
- Work has been so exhausting, yet I still worked up something enough to go to the gym for about 45 minutes this evening. I really should be in bed right now. These 12-11 hour days are brutal.
- Listening to What is Love by Haddaway.
Can't help but do the SNL head bob...
- I really should be in bed, but I need to cover some points at an early morning meeting, which I am in no way prepared for. And I need to pick up donuts for it.
- The HR manager is willing to do most of the grunt work of finding a new assistant. We're going to actually require some skills testing as well. People can say they know Excel or Outlook, but I'm not going to hire them to find out for sure. Still have to do face to face interviews though. Something I'm not excited for. I'm getting better at it, but it's still a shot in the dark. I'm very trusting and optimistic when it comes to people, which is not a great attribute for good hiring.
Enough already. Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the big Dominican bugs bite.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Ramblings...and a NEW TOY!
- I'd forget my head if it weren't bolted on.
- I'd forget my glasses if they weren't setting on my nose.
- I'd forget my nuts if I didn't carry them around in a sack.
- I'd forget my kids birthdays if they weren't programmed into my phone.
- I'd forget.....what was it again?
- My new assistant is no longer assisting. The almost complete inability to function under any sort of pressure is remarkable. Even the slightest amount of nervous tension would really frustrate her. She would try and work through it, but her communication became very confused and confusing. I even told her that if I didn't know something about what she was trying to explain, I would be completely lost. She was assigned the simple task of hunting down a purchase order number, which does involve some problem solving, and she actually resented having been assigned that task. Reminds me of my ex...
So here we are again. Looking for a new assistant. My fourth in almost four years. The first was a thief. The temp after her was great. The next permanent hire was very nice. Too nice. Her voice was so soft no one could hear her over the phone. I then hired the temp back permanently. I wish she was still here, but she moved 1,700 miles away. And the last was the lady who left today. When I told her it was her last day, she even said that she had planned on resigning. Not sure if I believe that or not, but whatever.
- So I took Silly Rabbits advice and started exercising again. Even signed up at a gym. First time in a gym since 2000. They have TV's built right into the equipment now. (Do I look like a dork when I laugh out loud at a Seinfeld episode that no one else can hear?)
- Maybe I'll finally get a smokin' hot assistant...
- The job posting was put up this afternoon. One young lady brought in her application about 10 minutes after the previous assistant left. She didn't quite grasp the fact that maybe the guy messing with the paperwork on the reception desk was the guy she needed to impress. I asked her a few questions and she seemed kind of eager to leave. Not like I was scaring her away, but like she had somewhere better to be.
- They need to make me the companies Director of Production Operations. Yeah, that's it...
- Found a couple books that are interesting enough to keep reading. One is a good 'ol Clive Cussler novel. Can't go wrong with Clive. Even his novels with 'guest' authors are good.
- I'm seriously considering purchasing the Kindle. I have piles of paperback books that need to not grow. The last book in a Song of Ice and Fire series is out. Dance with Dragons. eBooks are even cheaper than hardcovers.
Aw heck. Where's my debit card?
I looked at both the Kindle and the Nook. The biggest benefit to the Nook is the free classic books. But the Kindle has free 3G, (if you're willing to put up with a little ad on the menu screen to save $50) which doesn't require a wi-fi connection to download.
- Clickity! Order has been placed. It'll be here Tuesday. Yay!
- Didn't even have to get off my chair. You make it far too easy Amazon...
- I'd forget my glasses if they weren't setting on my nose.
- I'd forget my nuts if I didn't carry them around in a sack.
- I'd forget my kids birthdays if they weren't programmed into my phone.
- I'd forget.....what was it again?
- My new assistant is no longer assisting. The almost complete inability to function under any sort of pressure is remarkable. Even the slightest amount of nervous tension would really frustrate her. She would try and work through it, but her communication became very confused and confusing. I even told her that if I didn't know something about what she was trying to explain, I would be completely lost. She was assigned the simple task of hunting down a purchase order number, which does involve some problem solving, and she actually resented having been assigned that task. Reminds me of my ex...
So here we are again. Looking for a new assistant. My fourth in almost four years. The first was a thief. The temp after her was great. The next permanent hire was very nice. Too nice. Her voice was so soft no one could hear her over the phone. I then hired the temp back permanently. I wish she was still here, but she moved 1,700 miles away. And the last was the lady who left today. When I told her it was her last day, she even said that she had planned on resigning. Not sure if I believe that or not, but whatever.
- So I took Silly Rabbits advice and started exercising again. Even signed up at a gym. First time in a gym since 2000. They have TV's built right into the equipment now. (Do I look like a dork when I laugh out loud at a Seinfeld episode that no one else can hear?)
- Maybe I'll finally get a smokin' hot assistant...
- The job posting was put up this afternoon. One young lady brought in her application about 10 minutes after the previous assistant left. She didn't quite grasp the fact that maybe the guy messing with the paperwork on the reception desk was the guy she needed to impress. I asked her a few questions and she seemed kind of eager to leave. Not like I was scaring her away, but like she had somewhere better to be.
- They need to make me the companies Director of Production Operations. Yeah, that's it...
- Found a couple books that are interesting enough to keep reading. One is a good 'ol Clive Cussler novel. Can't go wrong with Clive. Even his novels with 'guest' authors are good.
- I'm seriously considering purchasing the Kindle. I have piles of paperback books that need to not grow. The last book in a Song of Ice and Fire series is out. Dance with Dragons. eBooks are even cheaper than hardcovers.
Aw heck. Where's my debit card?
I looked at both the Kindle and the Nook. The biggest benefit to the Nook is the free classic books. But the Kindle has free 3G, (if you're willing to put up with a little ad on the menu screen to save $50) which doesn't require a wi-fi connection to download.
- Clickity! Order has been placed. It'll be here Tuesday. Yay!
- Didn't even have to get off my chair. You make it far too easy Amazon...
Friday, July 15, 2011
*crunch* *grind*
The human mind is an amazing thing. To even consider our ability to reason can be daunting at times. We've been given the gift of thought. The gift of personal reflection. The gift of debate. The gift of altruism, and many more.
But the mind has limits. Or at least mine does. There's a certain point where the brain is subjected to an overload of input. Too much information, confusing or contradictory information, even too many different kinds of information.
I'm not a scientist, neurosurgeon, or a psychiatric doctor. This is from my own experience and there has been too much of this experience lately. My mind has been overloaded almost daily for a few weeks now.
Imagine the brain as a set of gears. With the splines, teeth, and clutch plates working properly, everything meshes and is in sync. During the course of a day, those gears in my brain change a lot. I wish I could put a number on it. Have someone follow me for a day and count the number of times I'm asked to stop thinking of one thing and switch to another. It has to be in the hundreds. When those gears don't mesh smoothly, things grind, growl, and smoke. It becomes more difficult to shift between gears.
The majority of the information comes from work. That's my primary role; head problem solver. Everyone has a problem that needs solving. I can think of at least 7 different areas within the company; sales, design, shipping, etc... that I'm asked to help in. It's a regular scene to have the salesman standing right behind the designer at the door of my office. Both having entirely different issues that need urgent attention. I'd like to think I've done a very good job at giving people the means to solve their own problems more often, but it'll never go away entirely.
It also seems I've become a better listener. Or at least more of my employees are coming to me with their personal issues. They're not usually asking for advice, but just venting. I'm a problem solver by nature, so it's hard to tune that out and not even consider possible solutions.
Then there's the ex, who can't seem to take a hint, or even comprehend the direct statement, "I don't want to talk to you unless it's about the kids." That topic has been covered to death, so I will not subject you to the details. Suffice it to say it's the same old crap.
So what happens? The brain shifts to neutral. Things still spin, but nothing is meshing. Video games become overwhelming. Social networking is beyond comprehension. Good books gather dust. That roast in the fridge waiting to be cooked eventually spoils. Anything except a mindless television show, which lets the imagination take a nap, becomes very unattractive.
I have not wanted to play a video game for the past 2 weeks. I have, since I signed up for it and told people I would commit, but it's a chore and I play terribly. I don't even want to think about putting in the effort of being that coordinated. Is it sad that it's only taken me that long to watch 3+ seasons of Battlestar Galactica?
There's really nothing to be done about it in the short term. Work is work and I'm lucky to have it. The ex will always be needy and inconsiderate. Relief comes during winter, when work slows down. I'm not quite to the point of hoping for snow though. I suppose that's a good thing.
And it's a damned miracle this post even got written.
But the mind has limits. Or at least mine does. There's a certain point where the brain is subjected to an overload of input. Too much information, confusing or contradictory information, even too many different kinds of information.
I'm not a scientist, neurosurgeon, or a psychiatric doctor. This is from my own experience and there has been too much of this experience lately. My mind has been overloaded almost daily for a few weeks now.
Imagine the brain as a set of gears. With the splines, teeth, and clutch plates working properly, everything meshes and is in sync. During the course of a day, those gears in my brain change a lot. I wish I could put a number on it. Have someone follow me for a day and count the number of times I'm asked to stop thinking of one thing and switch to another. It has to be in the hundreds. When those gears don't mesh smoothly, things grind, growl, and smoke. It becomes more difficult to shift between gears.
The majority of the information comes from work. That's my primary role; head problem solver. Everyone has a problem that needs solving. I can think of at least 7 different areas within the company; sales, design, shipping, etc... that I'm asked to help in. It's a regular scene to have the salesman standing right behind the designer at the door of my office. Both having entirely different issues that need urgent attention. I'd like to think I've done a very good job at giving people the means to solve their own problems more often, but it'll never go away entirely.
It also seems I've become a better listener. Or at least more of my employees are coming to me with their personal issues. They're not usually asking for advice, but just venting. I'm a problem solver by nature, so it's hard to tune that out and not even consider possible solutions.
Then there's the ex, who can't seem to take a hint, or even comprehend the direct statement, "I don't want to talk to you unless it's about the kids." That topic has been covered to death, so I will not subject you to the details. Suffice it to say it's the same old crap.
So what happens? The brain shifts to neutral. Things still spin, but nothing is meshing. Video games become overwhelming. Social networking is beyond comprehension. Good books gather dust. That roast in the fridge waiting to be cooked eventually spoils. Anything except a mindless television show, which lets the imagination take a nap, becomes very unattractive.
I have not wanted to play a video game for the past 2 weeks. I have, since I signed up for it and told people I would commit, but it's a chore and I play terribly. I don't even want to think about putting in the effort of being that coordinated. Is it sad that it's only taken me that long to watch 3+ seasons of Battlestar Galactica?
There's really nothing to be done about it in the short term. Work is work and I'm lucky to have it. The ex will always be needy and inconsiderate. Relief comes during winter, when work slows down. I'm not quite to the point of hoping for snow though. I suppose that's a good thing.
And it's a damned miracle this post even got written.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Frack!
- You know you're watching too much Battlestar Galactica when you start saying "frack!"
- I need to start a regular poker night.
- Yes, I've started saying "frack!"
- Music videos that don't even attempt to follow the lyrics are confusing. Just because the lyrics don't tell a story doesn't mean that the video has to.
- Sadie didn't last long at her new home. She kept escaping. The ex has her at her apartment now. Poor dog. Just put her up for adoption already. I hear the local shelter does a really good job finding good homes.
- It's hokey looking, but I'm looking forward to Cowboys and Aliens:
- Kinda reminds me of the most recent remake of War of the Worlds. The one with Tom Cruise. I enjoyed that one. Hopefully James Bond and Indiana Jones can make this one good.
- Now that I've signed up to play in the Left 4 Dead 2 and Tiger Woods '12 video game leagues...I've had absolutely no desire to play video games. Haven't played since last Friday.
- In the SGGA (Seasoned Gamers Golf Association) I'm not doing too terribly. I shot the worst score in this latest tournament (the 3rd so far) but I'm still ranked #9 of 23. All thanks to my horrible handicap, which is the second from the worst of the 23 players.
- My L4D2 team is called the Midnight Riders, which is actually the name of the band that wrote/performed the theme song to the game.
I'm Willy. The short fat bald one. *shrug*
- Left 4 Dead is a very odd game. I played it once and it didn't endear itself to me at all. It took me a while, but I finally understand the premise, but still...it's weird. Haven't started the league yet. First practice is tomorrow.
- In case you're curious, my former gamertag was WillysK5. At the time, I was doing a body swap between a 1954 Willys Wagon and a 1976 Chevy K5 Blazer. But since I lost that project, I switched to ThreeGirlKnight. Which should be a lot more enduring.
- I need to start a regular poker night.
- Yes, I've started saying "frack!"
- Music videos that don't even attempt to follow the lyrics are confusing. Just because the lyrics don't tell a story doesn't mean that the video has to.
- Sadie didn't last long at her new home. She kept escaping. The ex has her at her apartment now. Poor dog. Just put her up for adoption already. I hear the local shelter does a really good job finding good homes.
- It's hokey looking, but I'm looking forward to Cowboys and Aliens:
- Kinda reminds me of the most recent remake of War of the Worlds. The one with Tom Cruise. I enjoyed that one. Hopefully James Bond and Indiana Jones can make this one good.
- Now that I've signed up to play in the Left 4 Dead 2 and Tiger Woods '12 video game leagues...I've had absolutely no desire to play video games. Haven't played since last Friday.
- In the SGGA (Seasoned Gamers Golf Association) I'm not doing too terribly. I shot the worst score in this latest tournament (the 3rd so far) but I'm still ranked #9 of 23. All thanks to my horrible handicap, which is the second from the worst of the 23 players.
- My L4D2 team is called the Midnight Riders, which is actually the name of the band that wrote/performed the theme song to the game.
I'm Willy. The short fat bald one. *shrug*- Left 4 Dead is a very odd game. I played it once and it didn't endear itself to me at all. It took me a while, but I finally understand the premise, but still...it's weird. Haven't started the league yet. First practice is tomorrow.
- In case you're curious, my former gamertag was WillysK5. At the time, I was doing a body swap between a 1954 Willys Wagon and a 1976 Chevy K5 Blazer. But since I lost that project, I switched to ThreeGirlKnight. Which should be a lot more enduring.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Randosunday, SSS, and monthly post...apparently
Sheesh. It's been over a month since my last post. It was a month between that one and the previous...
Things are changing a little for me. Nothing drastic, but it kinda feels that way.
- Since I've now filed for divorce, I will now be referring to 'the ex', rather than the 'stbx', even though the papers haven't been signed by her. I've signed something, so there you go.
- The ex is getting a new job. One closer to a regular 9-5 schedule. Don't know if it's more money or not, but whatever. It's impacting my time with the girls though. Back when I moved out, we established a schedule and kept it for about 4 months. At that point, she started picking up more hours at her retail job and I got the girls a lot more. I saw them almost every day, even if it was just to pick them up, keep them for an hour or so, then pass them off. I got used to it. Then it changed back to the old schedule. It's ok, but I'm going through the same withdrawals again.
- Work is a lot busier. We may actually be making some money. As a division anyway. It's nice to be busy. There's been a lot of design work too, so I've taken the opportunity to pick up some of that, just to help out. It's nice to keep my hand in it, even though I don't want to go back to being a full-time designer.
- Had some weird attrition of shop employees though. No sooner than I laid one guy off did another walk of because his team mate, "farted too close" to him. What? Then another guy's been in and out of trouble after a bad split. I'm guessing he's in jail, but no one seems to know. Yeah, he doesn't work for me any more.
- The dog is gone. Thank goodness. Sadie is a great dog and all, but she dug up the carpet trying to get away from thunder and got through a window screen to go play with the neighbor dog. The ex found someone with another dog and a big yard to take her. So this weekend was spent repairing that damage. Was kind of surprised that laminate is actually cheaper than carpet. $0.69/sqft vs $0.80/sqft. I thought I was looking at $300-$400 to replace all the carpet, but ended up spending less than $100, after deciding not to replace the living room carpet. I really want to, because it's old, dirty, and smelly, but this is a rental...
It's not trimmed out yet, so pardon the dust:
I can't believe how sore I am. I must have bent down and up 50 times to get this done. Of course it had to be the hallway. Because of all the door openings and tight space, it's probably the most difficult space to put laminate in. Haven't fixed the screen yet, but it can wait for another day.
- Getting fat again. I stopped exercising when I had the girls so often. And I love me some Mexican food. Gotta do sumthin' about that.... meh, where's that beer?
- I've been going back to the sushi place. My first venture wasn't as exhilarating as I had hoped, but I've given it another shot or two and have been enjoying the cooked rolls. Salmon, crab, calamari, and the Miso soup.
- Recently finished reading the first 4 books of George R. Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire" series. It's the book series that spawned HBO's "A Game of Thrones". Haven't seen the TV show, but LOVED the books. Can't wait for the 5th book. It's supposed to come out on July 12th.
- I profusely apologize for not responding to any of the comments left on my last post and will try to do better.
- Went up to the hills for a 'camping dinner' with the design staff and took some pictures. I'll leave you with a very unCOOL picture:
- Be well.
Things are changing a little for me. Nothing drastic, but it kinda feels that way.
- Since I've now filed for divorce, I will now be referring to 'the ex', rather than the 'stbx', even though the papers haven't been signed by her. I've signed something, so there you go.
- The ex is getting a new job. One closer to a regular 9-5 schedule. Don't know if it's more money or not, but whatever. It's impacting my time with the girls though. Back when I moved out, we established a schedule and kept it for about 4 months. At that point, she started picking up more hours at her retail job and I got the girls a lot more. I saw them almost every day, even if it was just to pick them up, keep them for an hour or so, then pass them off. I got used to it. Then it changed back to the old schedule. It's ok, but I'm going through the same withdrawals again.
- Work is a lot busier. We may actually be making some money. As a division anyway. It's nice to be busy. There's been a lot of design work too, so I've taken the opportunity to pick up some of that, just to help out. It's nice to keep my hand in it, even though I don't want to go back to being a full-time designer.
- Had some weird attrition of shop employees though. No sooner than I laid one guy off did another walk of because his team mate, "farted too close" to him. What? Then another guy's been in and out of trouble after a bad split. I'm guessing he's in jail, but no one seems to know. Yeah, he doesn't work for me any more.
- The dog is gone. Thank goodness. Sadie is a great dog and all, but she dug up the carpet trying to get away from thunder and got through a window screen to go play with the neighbor dog. The ex found someone with another dog and a big yard to take her. So this weekend was spent repairing that damage. Was kind of surprised that laminate is actually cheaper than carpet. $0.69/sqft vs $0.80/sqft. I thought I was looking at $300-$400 to replace all the carpet, but ended up spending less than $100, after deciding not to replace the living room carpet. I really want to, because it's old, dirty, and smelly, but this is a rental...
It's not trimmed out yet, so pardon the dust:
I can't believe how sore I am. I must have bent down and up 50 times to get this done. Of course it had to be the hallway. Because of all the door openings and tight space, it's probably the most difficult space to put laminate in. Haven't fixed the screen yet, but it can wait for another day.
- Getting fat again. I stopped exercising when I had the girls so often. And I love me some Mexican food. Gotta do sumthin' about that.... meh, where's that beer?
- I've been going back to the sushi place. My first venture wasn't as exhilarating as I had hoped, but I've given it another shot or two and have been enjoying the cooked rolls. Salmon, crab, calamari, and the Miso soup.
- Recently finished reading the first 4 books of George R. Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire" series. It's the book series that spawned HBO's "A Game of Thrones". Haven't seen the TV show, but LOVED the books. Can't wait for the 5th book. It's supposed to come out on July 12th.
- I profusely apologize for not responding to any of the comments left on my last post and will try to do better.
- Went up to the hills for a 'camping dinner' with the design staff and took some pictures. I'll leave you with a very unCOOL picture:
- Be well.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
SSS word & drive by post
Hello all,
Laura b. gave me the heads up about being chosen to pick the SSS word. I'll give you a brief update and then do that.
- The girlies are all healthy. Doing well at school. Couldn't listen to save their lives... and I love them. E starts Kindergarten next year. They'll all be starting at a new school together then. I get to see them a lot. Their mom is working almost every weeknight. While they don't overnight more than 1 or 2 nights during the week, I see them almost every day.
But pay child support like I didn't. *sigh*
- We have more work now than at any point over the last 3 years. It's kinda nice. Still crossing my fingers that the new assistant will work out. It's still up in the air.
- Finally paid the lawyer and signed the first round of divorce documents. Stbx hasn't seen them yet, but let's hope she's willing to compromise a little.
- So I started drafting this little post at least an hour ago and keep getting interrupted. So without further ado, the SSS word is "PASS". As in, "I'll need to PASS on playing SSS for a while."
Sorry I haven't had a chance to read & respond lately. Hope you're all doing well.
Laura b. gave me the heads up about being chosen to pick the SSS word. I'll give you a brief update and then do that.
- The girlies are all healthy. Doing well at school. Couldn't listen to save their lives... and I love them. E starts Kindergarten next year. They'll all be starting at a new school together then. I get to see them a lot. Their mom is working almost every weeknight. While they don't overnight more than 1 or 2 nights during the week, I see them almost every day.
But pay child support like I didn't. *sigh*
- We have more work now than at any point over the last 3 years. It's kinda nice. Still crossing my fingers that the new assistant will work out. It's still up in the air.
- Finally paid the lawyer and signed the first round of divorce documents. Stbx hasn't seen them yet, but let's hope she's willing to compromise a little.
- So I started drafting this little post at least an hour ago and keep getting interrupted. So without further ado, the SSS word is "PASS". As in, "I'll need to PASS on playing SSS for a while."
Sorry I haven't had a chance to read & respond lately. Hope you're all doing well.
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