Why do I still get surprised?
I keep telling myself that I don't expect her to change, but maybe I do? A parent expects their kids to grow up, but if they don't, don't they usually stop at some point? Stop being surprised and stop trying to force them to grow up.
I know she's under some financial stress, but....
..but it's not all my fault.
She insists that it's all my fault.
No, I'm not exaggerating. All. As in everything. Everything from her current financial state, to the fact that she quit her "only good job", to the $6,000 in bills she's accrued over the last 4 months..
Take a wild guess as to what that "only good job" was.
Yes, the used car sales job. The one where she owed money when she quit.
No, I'm not joking.
And how do you accrue $6,000 in past due bills over 4 months, when you got almost that same amount from me and your monthly bills barely add up to that?!! And you have a job!!
I've never met anyone who was so adamantly opposed to taking responsibility for anything. It's kind of amazing. And sad.
It's the conversations that really get to me. Remember that age old saying, "You get more flies with honey than with vinegar." What about shit? Flies like that. Maybe that's what she's going for. Her statements to me are riddled with accusations, off the wall rants, and just plain irrelevance. How can she expect anyone to want to talk to her when she does that? I've mentioned before that she goes through friends like trashbags. Why do I think that will change?
I still hope she does change. For her and our girls' sake. She insisted on having this latest 'conversation' with the girls there. I know I was a captive audience because I was waiting for something, but that doesn't make it right.
In my mind, it's a glaring neon bright sign saying that sooner or later, the girls are going to see her petty, unforgiving, and just plain mean attitude. And they aren't going to like her for it.
I'm climbing an uphill battle here folks. That battle is making sure my girls don't continue the same cycle that their mom is continuing from her mom and probably her grandma.
I know God heals all. I've been praying for a miracle for a long time now. Which ever way it goes will be according to His plan, but that doesn't mean I have to be patient about it or like it...
I considered closing this crap post to comments, but if anyone wants to rant with me, have at it.
Hang in there!!! xoxo
ReplyDeleteWow! $6,000 in bills in 4 months? She owes her previous employer money? Is she looking for a job? Wow, that must be tough...especially when we know that our children have to tendency to model our behavior as they grow and develop. I will have to send up a prayer for you...hang in there.
ReplyDeleteThat' blew me away...I almost forgot my rant! I want to know when KY relocated to the Snow Belt?! I am sick of snow!
ReplyDeleteBy the way 3GK (now that I've filled up your comments, LOL!) if you thought that my post was funny yesterday, I implore you...click on the one I reference within the post and read it! It may make you laugh enough to cheer you up today. Just a thought my friend.
ReplyDeleteDude, I feel for you. How in the world can anyone incur $6,000 debt in a mere 4 months? Hell, I think I'll start a vigil over here on your behalf.
ReplyDeleteYour kids will have you as a role model, as well as their mother. They'll get it, don't worry.
ReplyDeleteAnd you need to learn to tune her out. Seriously. Let her ramble and think of Trance music or whatever :-)
Nikki - Thanks. Glad you stopped by! No rant though?
ReplyDeleteTera - I dunno.. She took advances then quit. She's had another job at a department store the whole time. And it took me far too long to figure out what 'KY' was. "Why is she referring to KY? And what does it have to do with snow?" Duh! I missed that link. I'll check it out now.
DiploD - It's beyond me.
laura b - Thanks and I know, I know. It's kind of consuming sometimes though.
Kids figure it out - they just need one stable parent to be okay.
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna predict something and you'll have to let me know if I'm right. Kids aren't stupid and they observe more than we like to give them credit. There is daddy who has his act together, is stable, with limited drama. Then their is mom who, by the sound of it, appears to be running right off the tracks if not already. GIve them a few years and if the above holds true they are gonna realize what's going on and you'll find them attracted to your life and the way you do things.
ReplyDeleteYour job in all of this is to be the constant. No matter what goes on around them, you are the anchor. You can't control what she does and you shouldn't worry about it. You're an involved dad and will have a much greater affect on their lives than you can imagine. Just keep doing what you're doing. It's gonna work out fine.